Life

is to stand with Him in front of the mirror, a canvas

to gaze at the beautiful creation we see

And to gaze at the Beautiful Creator who has made us so

a body His brush

blood His paint

 

Only in Peru 2

Afterward it was my job to help the 2nd and 3rd grade female performers put away their costumes. I took them up to the second grade room and suddenly was surrounded by little 7 and 8 year old girls in the nude. Some took a moment before dressing themselves to enjoy prancing around the classroom. I quickly tried to put an end to it.

Me: Kara! Get some clothes on!
Kara: But I can't! Jasmine is wearing my shirt!
Me: Jasmine, give back her shirt and get your own.
Jasmine: But her shirt won't come off! It's too small! HELP ME MISS PAGE ITS SUFFOCATING ME!

...pretty crazy, but I still don't think that this experience matched last years Peruvian Awareness scandalousness.

Letter from home

Mom sent me this bit of news through email today:

"Daddy preached sunday it was one of his better ones
tho it was r rated.He talked about sexuality, graphic depictions
of a birth And bastards all in one sermon."

Playland Park

[gallery]

I had a pretty amazing weekend when Lindsay came down to visit. Fun included in the Eden weekend package includes...

...touching seaweed and starfish

...flying around in Peruvian amusement park rides

...standing in line waiting to get on Peruvian amusement park rides

...making fun of and taking secret pictures of crazy latino hair

...eating supper with Peruvians obsessed with giving wet willies

Ferretería

means hardware store, not ferret store just so you know. If it did mean ferret store, you would be able to easily get the following novelty items for your hideous rodents anywhere in Peru:

Anyway, Dale and I were in a ferretería a few months back and spotted these interestingly labeled boxes.

We wanted to ask the owner what the boxes mean, but decided against it. You don't want to risk talking to a guy who just might sell halves of human body parts.

The art of driving like a jerk

is something I would like to learn as it is the only way you can drive in Lima, Peru.

A weekend ago, my new international drivers license close at hand, I attempted to make my way through the streets of Lima.

I learned that driving in Lima is just like driving in the states but for three differences:

1. Peruvians in cars are just like Peruvians in person – they don’t see personal space as something that should exist in our universe.

2. You must be rude or you will never get anywhere. You have to pull in front of cars even when it is their turn to go. You have to force people to slam on their breaks so that you can pass them. You can feel free to make a left turn while in the right lane, cutting off a whole line of cars wanting to go straight. When you have your hands on the wheel, you must become a ferocious driving animal, ready to stomp over all in your path.

3. You can’t trust anyone. Everyone is a possible threat to the wellbeing of your car so you must honk at every possible movement in your direction.

[caption id="attachment_648" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption=" Poor Cynthia didn’t know what she was getting herself into when she handed the keys of her bebe over to Eden. "][/caption]

My first go at it was a success I believe. I only almost got into one wreck.

More Mannequins

I really shouldn't have made fun of these mannequins with this picture. As a group, these she mannequins have been mistreated, rejected by the ones who should have loved them. They are pieces attempting to be completed by other pieces in this small corner of a garage. On the outside, they show ideal beauty. Look into the depths of their eyes and you see that their bodies are empty shells.

It would be appropriate to juxtapose the photograph with Picasso's work revealing brothel life.

Why I buy old books:

[caption id="attachment_640" align="alignleft" width="500" caption="tee hee hee"][/caption]

"Scorch, pow!"

Post title is a famous Wanda quote from my favorite thing that comes from Canada, the TV show Corner Gas (even better than Red Green).

Peruvians love teasing.  And on the weekend of my birthday, I realized not only how much they tease, but how much they have rubbed off on me.




Stingers from one of the Peruvian weddings I went to this June:






1.

Cynthia: I can’t believe I painted my toenails hot pink! It looks awful! What was I thinking! What will other people think?

(she then sees a girl walk down the aisle wearing a bright blue hideous dress) Oh, I don’t feel so bad anymore.
2.

Pastor: So... Cynthia, Eden, just so that you girls are aware... that young gentlemen talking with Josue in the corner is a kind and considerate young man who is a Christian and single.
Cynthia: Pastor! You don't have to-
Pastor: -no comments necessary. Just so you are aware Cynthia, that is all. And there is also a very eligible young man, Jorge Malpartido who is studying to be a doctor.
Later...
Eden: Look Cynthia! There is the very eligible Jorge Malpartido!
Nadia: Eligible? Give him a briefcase and he will look like a Jehovah’s witness.



After church the following Sunday I invited friends over to my house to eat leftovers from my party, watch the world cup, and then hang out looking at the beach. One of the people who came was a leftover wedding guest from the states named Devin and, with him taking my place as the foreigner, I enjoyed finally being able to be the teaser rather than the teas-eee (Oh yeah, Devin, if you ever read this thank you for the cruel pleasure you brought us ... know that we only tease those we are comfortable with)

3.
(Nadia is telling Josue something)

Josue: Eden, you can translate that for Devin if you want to.

Eden: That’s alright, I’ll just translate what’s interesting.

Nadia: Hey!

Devin is watching us curious to know what we are laughing about.

Josue: That’s alright Devin, it’s not very interesting… (he then pulls Nadia and I into a huddle and we all fake laugh as if at Devin).

4.

Eden: Josue! What are you doing wearing your swimsuit to church along with a nice shirt?

Josue: Well it’s you who are always wearing your pajamas!

5.

Cynthia: Devin isn’t crazy like other American guys. He is much more calm and tranquil.

Eden: So in other words, boring.

6.

Devin: My zipper no longer works on my jacket so I just open it like this… (he takes his both hands and tears open his jacket zipper.

All of us: Gasp! Devin!

7.

Devin: I don’t like flying out of the Minneapolis airport because it means I have to leave my car there for a week until I get back.

Eden: What, you don’t have any friends?

Claudia: (surprised at my stinging comments) Eden! You are Peruvian now!

8.

Dale also joined in on the fun.

Nadia: Cynthia I don’t know where I put my phone, would you call me.

Cynthia calls Nadia and a ringing noise comes out of Nadia’s front jacket pocket.

Nadia: Oh, my cell phone is right here!

Dale: Gasp! You ate it?

Cry me a River Festival

I just found out on my friend Angi's blog that it's river festival time in Wichita.

If I was in the states, I doubt I would attend many of the events (especially as the canoe races no longer exist), but I still don't like the idea of river festival happening while I am in Peru. Perhaps because I have so many memories of it as a kid.

I remember going to the river festival parade one or two years in this:


When all five of us siblings had been born, all three of us girls sat in it without seatbelts in all fearlessness. Paul would ride his small bike alongside us and mama would have baby Joel in a bike seat behind her. It made sense for all of us to go to the parade by bike because so many of the streets would be blocked off for vehicles. Daddy made (and still makes) the craziest inventions.

Below are canoe race pictures as well as Grace when she was tubby:

In Honor of Mama

One thing I appreciate about my mom is that she patiently writes emails filled with recipes and enjoyable facts to appease me as I live out my decision to be overseas.

June 28, 2005, my mother sent her very first email. It was to Dale and I. Dale was working at camp at the time while I was doing an internship in San Diego:

Eden and Dale
My first email of my very own. Dad and I met Robbie today for lunch .
She made it seem like Eden you are having a goood experience. Lots of
variety in things to see and do. Joels lone bird is lonely and sits at bottom of cage we need to get
another bird for it.
Dad may go to stafford sat.
Love mom

Mama’s emails are always interesting as they often have the following characteristics:

-          honest comments about life in general – so that I don’t miss a single thing while I am away

-          words misspelled or abbreviated to such an extent that even Aunt Anne, a lover of puzzles, is challenged in trying to decipher what they say.

-          other accidents revealing of her inability to understand technology.



Here are some email excerpts to show what I mean:

Eden/ I hope you got homework done. Grace was helping Joel with his math and I thot they would both end up crying.

love ma

(Note: It’s intriguing to me that she always signs her letters “ma.” Perhaps she is trying to save time by not typing an additional “m” and “a”?)




Dad has all 3 mowers working wow!
I missed pool ball monday night. I hear in midst of game Grandpa had boxer shorts fallen at his feet. Everyone loled. I guess they were stuck in a pant leg from washing and at that moment fell out.







The church pool party was good. tho at church we prayed that God would bless pools everywhere.
Why am I most tempted to laugh when we have casual sunday and are sitting in a semi circle.




Are you watching the
olympics? The swimming is fun. I am looking forward to trying some of the new moves.





We may go to a live enactment of a civil war battle. I think it will be fun just watching people who really love that sort of thing.
love ma




Dear Paul and Eden
I miss you guys when we do family projects. Dad has been nervous (I know its hard
to imagine) about burning the piles lately and has put it off but there was no wind so I initiated it. The big hole we will
save for when more people can help.
Joel is helping me with KFC now that cc is over. It is small yet but well liked.
Paul you should get involved with a ministry (that is very attractive to strong christian babes.)
Paul sorry to run ahead on the gifts but I would love frisbee golf frisbees or discs for x mas.
enough to bring a few friends and maybe loose a few.(discs not friends).






Dear Eden
Are you settled in this semester?  We are getting there.  I had a bsf mgt.
and start kfc today.

I could write more but
I prefer phone conv. hint hint.
love ma




Dear Family
We will have Easter Lunch here. Come and bring a friend. I will invite Hawkinsons as its really not easter w/o kids greedily looking for eggs. (sorry Eden May you have a wonderful peruvian Easter)
love ma

And now for the grand finale! One day I got an email in my inbox saying that I had got a voicemail from my mom...

Welcome to our Batismal...

[caption id="attachment_605" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="The Baptees"][/caption]

My church would not be so interesting if it were not so small.

Two Sundays ago, three friends of mine were all getting baptized.

Before baptizing everyone, the pastor pulled each baptee up to share their testimony and said a  flourishy statement to the crowd in a most Peruvian way.

His statement to the man on the right in the photo above was classic:

Pastor: Martin, come forward.
Martin: (comes forward)
Pastor: We are here to witness the baptism of Martin Mendoza Espinoza Mechinara Malpartido.
Crowd: (laughs)
Pastor: We can laugh at such a grand name, but the fact is that our brother now has adopted the most grand name of all: the name (dramatic pause) of Jesucristo.

El Pastor called up Pepito to be baptized first. Pepito's eyes got big when he got into the water. "Apparently, the water is frigid," we all thought innocently. Little did we know what Pepito would confess later: That he really had to pee and at that moment couldn't hold it in.

My freshly baptized friends' words upon hearing it: WHAT? I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!

[caption id="attachment_606" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The confessing culprit"][/caption]

She can make a cherry pie...

...quick as a cat can wink her eye.

If the cat is dead. It had been two years since I had tasted a cherry pie. I was thinking about it more and more. I even dreamed about pie.

Then it happened.
I was walking through the grocery store and I saw some canned cherries imported from Chile. It was beautiful.



[caption id="attachment_597" align="alignright" width="300" caption="I then took out the seeds from all 3 cans. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_599" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="And after a few more important steps, I had completed my first ever cherry pie."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_596" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Pink eye update (for Dale): Former crustiness is beginning to flow out of my eye in a smooth stream. A sign of healing I hope. This is all so exciting."][/caption]

Pink eye update (according to Joel)

Some inflammation of the eye has occurred with a slight tingling sensation on the lower half. Also upon waking up, I find a trail of dried blood proceeding from my tear duct. This really is fascinating. I'll keep you updated!

Wood Eye? Wood Eye?

Today I was introducing a new assignment to my highschoolers when one of them interrupted me:

Japanese male student: Miiiiissss!
Miss Page: Not now, let me finish.
Japanese male student: But Miss! Your eyeeeee!
Miss Page: Wait a minute, what?
Peruvian female student: MISS! You have PINK EYE!
Miss Page: Really?

I looked in the mirror and sure enough, half of my eye was pink.

Later, while talking to my Peruvian female student I noticed that she wouldn't even look at me when she was talking to me. When I asked her what was wrong she told me "I don't want you to infect me with pink eye."

"Vanessa!" I told her, "you can't catch pink eye just by looking at it!"
"But Miss, yes you can!"
I tried persuading her using logic and scientific fact, but she still would not believe me nor look at me for the rest of class.

Pink eye update: Subject is tearing up although no physical or emotional pain is present. Entire left eye of subject is now pink.

Spring Breaking it in Peru

Below is a totem pole of pictures of what I did for my Spring Break/Easter Vacation:

In case the pictures weren't sufficient for you, here is text of what I did:

Got a nice cheap Peruvian pedicure
Went to a bring-your-own meat barbecue
Hiked up a hill nearby
Looked out at a great view of Lima
Made Sushi
Went to the Gamarra district and bought a bridesmaid dress for Grace's wedding (for $7! woohoo)
Traveled with a Peruvian family to a beach town
Slept a lot and watched sunsets in the beach town
Got home in time for church, watched my friends get baptized, and ate a delicious easter lunch that my roommate cooked up for her boyfriend's family.

If you wish to lurk me further, you can look at more pictures and comments here.

Pirated II

Here is the cover of the awful terror movie "Martyrs."



Below are my good friends Cynthia and Nadia, who pull off the terror-movie-look quite well. Maybe they should star in Martyrs 2.

Pirated!

One day after church 2 of my girl friends
and I were planning on having a nice quiet meal together and then going to my house to watch a movie.

SUDDENLY our plans were ATTACKED BY FIVE FRIGHTENING PIRATES!

Introducing…

Helmsman Miguel (in the background)

[caption id="attachment_574" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Helmsman Miguel is in charge of the pirate vessel steerage"][/caption]

First Mate Josue

Captain Nadia

[caption id="attachment_569" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Captain Nadia and I "][/caption]

Crewman Christian

[caption id="attachment_571" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Crewman Christian taking a nap when he should be sweeping the decks"][/caption]

Ugly faced Pete

[caption id="attachment_568" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="in my personal opinion Ugly-faced-Pete is the most annoying of the pirates"][/caption]

Here is what happened next:

Crewman Christian: Yarrr. We are hijacking your weak and feminine plans. Instead of having a nice quiet girly lunch of fruit, salad, and hummus you are going to eat at a meaty, manly buffet

Helmsman Miguel: Aye! And instead of watching a light romanceyou are going to watch this awful terror film

We sailed to a nearby market in the cramped pirate vesselwhere my pirate friends could purchase the pirated movie from other pirate-y riff raff.

And then we sat down and watched 2 hours of torture. None of us liked the movie. I either had my eyes closed or was checking my email most of the film.

The entire time, Miguel was telling us that at the ending of the film there would be a dialogue explaining why all the torture was happening throughout the entire movie. But then it turned out that the Spanish subtitles no longer worked the last 15 minutes of the movie. All the dialogue just came out in its original French with no translation.

They all muttered angry complaints about the unreliability of the fellow pirates they bought the movie from. No honor among thieves I guess. After watching a good movie and then just hanging around chatting, the pirates left, sailing off into the sunset, promising to return one day.

I suppose I hope they do. Yarrr.

How to Celebrate Carnival in Peru

A month ago, Amanda and I had a conversation that went something like this…

Amanda: It’s the last day of carnival isn’t it?
Eden: Yeah…we should totally go and attack our friends as well as random strangers with water guns.
Amanda: I am in agreement with you.

The day ended with Amanda and I going home with a sense of success that we have never felt before. We guarantee you can feel this same sense of carnivictory if you just follow these 8 Carnival guidelines:

1. Plan your attack on one of the last days of February That way, there will be no time for a victim’s vengeance.


2. Make your own water guns You can save money by attaching the squirt tops of Windex-like containers and attaching them to water bottles.

[caption id="attachment_561" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The Carnies showing off their homemade water guns"][/caption]

3. Call the person you are planning on attacking in advance to make sure they are home "Hi Kathy… I was just calling to see if you had my movie 'I am So Going to get you Wet.' I forget who I lent it to."


4. Always have a back up plan Amanda was going to lure Kathy out to the street and then I was going to come out from around the corner and squirt her. But it turns out that Kathy was in her pajamas and Amanda had to yell so I could hear “OH! WHATS THAT KATHY? YOU CAN’T COME OUTSIDE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN DECENT CLOTHING?” So we ended up just breaking into her house and chasing her around with our water guns.


5. Let your prey come to you Oftentimes, unsuspecting students can be lured to a home where they can easily be carnivalled by three of their evil teachers.


6. The back of a combi is a prime location for squirting people From our location, we were able to quite easily attack random people in other vehicles.


7. Don’t squirt people until the stoplight turns green I made the poor decision of squirting a driver when he was stopped at a red light. He laughed and then stared at us until we felt maximum awkwardness and the light turned green again.


8. Know the natural habitat of your prey ICSL students apparently migrate to grassy, shaded areas on weekends. We hit the jackpot when we found over 20 of our secondary students at a nearby park and were able to attack each and every one of them.

[caption id="attachment_560" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption=""Hey Eden! We've hit the jackpot!""][/caption]

Nobody likes me everybody hates me

My dad has been posting our journal entries about our January jungle trip on his blog. Here is an excerpt I wrote about the strange food of the amazon:

One day, the director of the base which we were working on came back from the city bearing gifts. As our gifts rippled across the table surface he said, “How do you say ‘dessert’ in English?” He had brought us raw coconut palm grubs (called suri just like someone else). Indigenous children in Peru think of suri as a candy. We played with them for a bit.



Then Director Juan Carlos began encouraging me to try them. I wouldn’t, so he said he would show me how first. He first snaped off the head with his teeth– though you have to watch out for the pincers because they will snap back. Then you suck out the inside. After some persuasion from Juan Carlos and my dad's promise that he would get it on video, I agreed:



Later that night I fried up the rest of the grubs. They really steamed right up in the frying pan and popped up nice and huge. One even got so big that when it was punctured, squirted out a long thin stream of juices. They were easier to swallow down fried and reminded me a lot of shrimp. Now I can eat just about anything. Watch the exciting frying below.



And now for a song about what to do with low self esteem. My mom, never one to let us "believe in ourselves," forced me to listen to it as a child and I can only assume that it has had some influence on my poor grub-eating decisions today:

Nobody likes me everybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm!
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms

I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice,
And throw the skins away!
Nobody knows how fat I grow,
On worms three times a day!

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms!

Beauty Queens and Balloon Scenes

So I was walking down the streets of Gamarra, an extremely crowded district of Lima known for its thousands of small clothing stores.



There, I learned two things about Peruvian fashion:

1. Its made up of bright bold colors on skin tight clothing that I could never decently fit into.


2. I don’t like Peruvian fashion.

We walked into one store and saw Maju Mantilla. At first I thought she was an unusually pretty American. She had light blond hair and was wearing a ton of makeup.


In 2004, Maju became the only Peruvian to ever win the Miss World competition. We walked by her two more times, trying to appear as though we were casually shopping as we cast subtle glances her way. We were disappointed to find that she was not wearing her sash nor her crown.



Upon leaving Gamarra, we went down a street. The street was quiet. Too quiet.

And suddenly, sure enough, a giant water balloon burst on the pavement just in front of our feet.

“EEEEDEN! It’s carnival! RUN!” yelled Cynthia. We ran and more balloons came from all directions from the apartments above. We tried taking cover in a nearby store.

The people in the store were laughing at us.

A woman worker spoke to us, “You must be careful, this entire street is covered in people wanting to celebrate February’s carnival.”

“Is there a secret door in the back of this shopping center that will get us to a safer street?” I asked hopefully.

Everyone in the store laughed and shook their heads no. The woman worker then looked at one of the male workers and said with a smile, “Jorge, why not escort them through.”

Jorge shrugged, “No way! It won’t make a difference if I am with them or not. I don’t want to get wet too!”

So we ran down the rest of the street, dodging balloons from all directions. We made it out finally, and escaped with nothing more than wet sandals. I was glad that the balloons were not filled with urine, wax, or paint, as they sometimes are in districts as poor as Gamarra.

Below is my favorite image of an entire group of people just before being carnivalled in Lima.