Cheesy Pick up Line of the Week

For my elementary classes, I wrote the following above a painting on my white board:

What do you see first?

What shapes do you see?

During my high school art class, I turned around to see the following answers scribbled on the board as well:

What do you see first? Ms. Page

What shapes do you see? I cannot see anythings without you

Because anything was written with an additional "s" I soon sleuthed out the English-language-learning culprit.

Eden's Peru Dictionary

Eng⋅rish

men⋅u

[ing-rish men-yoo]

–noun

1.	a word puzzle to carefully decipher

2.	a list of typed phrases to humor

Aunt Susan, Grandma, and I were all relieved to find that "all their crudenesses were cleaned of cleansed water."

I am lost for I am a woman of unclean lips

After two horrific Spanish language mistakes this last week, I don't feel like a very good missionary in Peru. I have decided to post them even though they are risqué to increase your entertainment and decrease my pride.

What I meant to say: “Hey, did you catch a wave?”

What I actually said: “Hey, did you have a one night stand with the wave?”

What I meant to say: “Every morning for breakfast I like to put strawberry flavored jam on my bread”

What I actually said: “Every morning for breakfast I like to put strawberry flavored condoms on my bread”

BRiiinngg!...

Lauren: Amanda! Telephone!

Amanda: Oh. I didn’t even hear it ring.

Lauren: That’s because the phone only rang once, I was on it.

Amanda: Oh, I’m sorry. You were on the phone?

Lauren: No “on it,” as in “on top of it”

Eden: On top of it? You were sitting on the phone?

Lauren: No. Gaaaa!

Meet Lauren

Lauren is one of my roommates. Amanda and I like to tease her about the words which she uses. Here is a dictionary of her vocabulary:

The Dictionary of Lauren:

Same [seym]

A one-word phrase used to show one feels identical with what has just been mentioned:
Amanda: I really wish I could be as cool as Eden.
Lauren: Same.

Stinkin’ cute [sting-kyn kyoot]

Adjective used to express high enthusiasm over someone, some place, some thing, etc.
Lauren: Oh my goodness my roommate is so stinkin’ cute.

Because A…, B…, and C… [bi-kawz ae…, be…, ahnd see]

Phrase used to express something with three different points to back the expression.
Lauren: I really think Eden is the best roommate ever because A - she always leaves bread sacks open, B – she puts her keys in the refrigerator, and C – she likes eating the plastic wrapped around her cheese.

Ya know right? [yah noh rahyt]

A phrase used to express ''I can't believe it either.''
Amanda: Eden is so extremely awesome.
Lauren: Ya know right?

Appendages [uh-pen-dij-ez] (and other words only smart science majors know)

A science-y term which means any body parts that may extend from a body segment.
Lauren: My appendages are cold.
Amanda: That’s probably because Eden isn’t here to warm your heart.