You have no compassion for my poor nerves

While rowing through the jungle, we spotted a British couple and their guide entering a canoe. The wife was mid-thirty ish, had good teeth. The husband was a bit older and balding. We were surprised to see as they climbed into their boat that the husband was frightened about the whole ordeal and when he finally fell over himself enough to make it to his seat, he sat there stiffly, knuckles white as he grasped the canoe sides.

Mama whispered, “Look at him! He is so wimpy. Why do you think he even came to the jungle?”

And then, adding emphasis to her statement, we saw him pull out a cross stitch from his bag and begin sewing.

Of course, we began giggling and took some stealth photos.

We finally were able to compose ourselves again until mama said, “Well, it probably helps in 'calming his nerves.'”

"Somewhere out there is a lady who I think will never be a nun. Auf Wiedersehen, darling."

While vacationing with my family around Peru (see pictures here) we stumbled across this scandelous poster hanging from an eyeglass store.

Museo de Zoologia

One of my favorite museums we visited was a museum of very poorly taxidermied animals. They had an ROUS we promise - he had sharp, large teeth and was leering at me in a way that made me want to distance myself from him even though he was hardly able to jump on me and rip my shoulder off.

There was much marine life represented...

as well as a killer monkey...

and llamas in about-to-strike-you-dead positions.

Altogether a wonderfully haunting experience.

Do you take pictures...or do pictures take you...

My family has a tradition of playing with picture themes on our trips together. Below are three collections of pictures from this last trip with some family in Peru.

Collection 1: interpretive tree dancing

Collection 2: Wedding Invite Silhouettes

Collection 3: Interactive Paintings

The Mannequin Returns

My mom and Brother Joel have been here for the last month and just left last night.

Joel found some more uses for my new mannequin arm and a Peruvian face mask...

...and we both found some new mannequins with which to pose while we traveled around different regions of Peru.

Eden's Peru Dictionary

Eng⋅rish

men⋅u

[ing-rish men-yoo]

–noun

1.	a word puzzle to carefully decipher

2.	a list of typed phrases to humor

Aunt Susan, Grandma, and I were all relieved to find that "all their crudenesses were cleaned of cleansed water."

Thanks for the socks Dale - well worth the $1.83 you spent on them

Below you can see photos of me proving to the fashion worlds of Cuzco, Pisac, and Machu Picchu that socks are the new chullos of Peru.

Jesus takes care of us wherever we go

While in Cuzco, Aunt Susan and I saw a young man who looked like Jesus. With ratty clothing, long hair, and a beard, and in his early 30’s he was perfect (literally).

Aunt Susan: What would Jesus do? Go to Cuzco. We are doing all right!

Jesus spottings continued throughout our whole Cuzco trip. He even was with us while we were in Machu Picchu. I guess you could say, Jesus was with us every step of the way.

Aunt Susan: Eden! I lost my way in the ruins and then guess who I saw? Jesus!

Me: So you decided to follow Jesus?

Aunt Susan: Yes, I was lost but then I found Jesus

Later, we didn’t know where we were supposed to meet with the tour group.

Me: I wonder where it is…

Aunt Susan: You should ask Jesus.

Me: What?

Aunt Susan: Well, Jesus is right beside you.

I then turned around and looked up to the heavens and guess who was there...

Then Jesus showed me the way.

Mi Abuelita

Only one week ago, I was visiting Cuzco and the famous ruins of Machu Picchu.

Traveling with my grandmother makes a trip much different than traveling with other young people. Here are the reasons why:

1. We soon found how narrow the colonial sidewalks of Cuzco are (see the narrowness pictured below).

As we went on a walk there, we noticed a young backpacker was walking up the sidewalk while we were walking down. Aunt Susan and I stepped off the sidewalk so he could get through but Grandma refused to budge for him, “You’re young! I’m old!” she said, “You should let me have the right of way!”

It was strangely pleasant to watch a thoughtless hippi-backpacker hybrid have practical courtesy forced upon him.

2. While in Cuzco, the City of Incas but also the City of Tourists, we were bombarded by Peruvians trying to sell things to us.

We visited many cathedrals and museums and Grandma, often tired from walking, would find a place to sit down while letting us explore. One time after visiting a church, we found Grandma, tired of people trying to sell her things, giving the sellers a taste of their own medicine.

The sign she created reads "English lessons: 5 soles" (soles = peruvian currency). Peruvians stopped to laugh and I am sure fewer street vendors stopped to pester her. As Aunt Susan said, now we know why Aunt Anne is the way she is.

3. I was surprised to find that grandma isn’t a wall protecting me from creepy Peruvians but a secret passageway for them. She got to know this Quechuan boy on the bus ride and they exchanged emails. He, of course, he wanted my email.

Me: No.

Boy: (extremely unsubtly) So, you have a boyfriend?

Me: (extremely rudely) NO.

Boy: Why not?

Me: Because there are no Americans in Peru.

Grandma: (later that day) Well, I’ll still communicate with him by email but won’t give him yours and I’ll be sure to teach him protestant values and use the internet to translate my email into Spanish…and Quechuan if they have it!

Oh, and here is a photo of the little punk:

Signs Too Risque for Facebook

Note:

I just finished putting my Huaraz pictures on facebook. Check them out here.

Now, there were some photos which I didn't upload to the facebook album because I am facebook friends with many of those of more delicate natures (i.e. my students) (Ok, now I want you to reread that last sentence as if it were flowing out of the mouth of Mr. Collins himself).

But fortunately, because you read my blog, you are not of that nature and can read on and take a look at the forbidden photos.

Now for the photos.

1. While walking along the streets of Huaraz, we stumbled upon something quite shocking!

Of course we had to ask why on earth the store had that name.

"I don't know," the owner replied, "it just helps us get business I guess because people think the name is weird and then visit our store."

2. While in Yungay, many of us stopped to use the restroom. In the States, you go to the woman's bathroom and signs look like this.

But not in Peru...

Between a rock and a hard place

About a month ago, 7 teachers and I went to Huaraz for Semana Santa Break.

One of the best parts about the trip was that after finding this book

many of us attempted to speak in cliches for the rest of the trip. I am as dull as dishwater when it comes to thinking of great lines on the spot, so I missed out on much cliche fun.

At one point in our travels on mountainous roads, our van screeched to a halt behind a row of cars.

Two friends and I jumped at the chance of a possible adventure and asked our driver if we could get out and see what all the fuss was about. He knuckled under and so we went on our merry way.

After a walk we heard manly yells in unison and then saw this:

It was a rock as big as a whale which had rolled out into the middle of the road. The guys did get it enough out of the way that cars could pass. But then that meant we would need to high tail it out of there because now cars were coming. My two friends with me went to the left side of the rock. "They are blocking traffic that way!" I thought, "and there's more than one way to skin a cuy"

(yes we did witness this)

So I decided I would need to walk around the rock. I went on the wrong side of the rock and sunk down all the way down to my knees. It was as clear as mud that I had made a mistake.

It looked worse in real life. But there was no point in crying over spilled milk. I decided to grin and bear it, rolling up half the mud into my capris and washing the other half the mud out at the side of the road.

As luck would have it, a huge truck transporting produce was sitting right next to me the whole time and on top of the truck were a ton of Peruvians who got a kick out of me. "Mira la gringa!/Look at the gringa!" they shouted, pointing and laughing till they cried.

Soon my van pulled up and I beat a hasty retreat.

Moral of the story: Rolling stones gather no moss but they might gather mud.

Take a Hike

While in Huancayo we decided to hike Torre Torre, a bunch of odd formations close to the town. To get there, we had to pass through a village which belongs to a group of indigenous people. As we neared the formations, we saw four boys from the village racing down the hill. Kyle reached out her hand to congratulate the boy who won the race.


“Are you going to hike Torre Torre?” the boy asked us.
We answered in the affirmative.
“Do you want us to take you?” the boy asked.
“How much?” we asked like the wise tourists we are.
“Whatever your will is,” the boy answered.
One of the other boys quickly piped in “As long as you let us take pictures with your cameras.”

And then we became seven.










The tour package included:
• The boys pointing out interesting things we may have missed such as a condor head formation.












• Hiking up the steep formations (it took them 2 seconds to hike something that would take us 30).









• Stopping to rest while our guides told the story of the formations. One would stand up, tell a little bit of the story and then would say, “and now my friend will continue the story.” It was extremely cute when the six year old got up to explain his part.









• After the story, the youngest guide sang a song to us in quechua. They then asked us to sing songs to them.
• On the walk back, we shared songs back and forth.

We paid them and said goodbye by taking one final picture.

Making a Scene

Polleras - colorful skirts made from hand-woven wool cloth.

Manta - a rectangular piece of cloth worn by indigenous Peruvian women as a shawl, carry-all, and holder for infants and toddlers.The two items mentioned above are traditional pieces of clothing which normal tourists never consider wearing. However, Kyle and Laura, the girls I traveled with for a 2 day trip to Huancayo, are not your normal tourists.

Here are Kyle and Laura trying on polleras.


Peruvians slowed down and stopped to gawk,
laugh,
or say in astonished voices, “They look sooo pretty.” Even a stern faced cop took time to admire them and tell them in English how beautiful they looked.

Kyle and Laura then decided they ought to purchase mantas to help complete their traditional outfits. The vendor helped the girls put their purchases inside their mantas and fling them across their backs.
And then every single person in the market went crazy when they saw them and we became the tourist attraction.

"Aww. Look at the gringas! Where are their babies?" one asked.

Another woman, dressed in her own pollera and manta walked up to my friends and said, “Look at the tourists! How pretty they look.”
She then turned to me with a frown and said “Why didn’t you buy one?” and then the woman was bold enough to whap me on the rear!