"I've got a love emergency" might make a great song lyric

My roommates and I get a lot of catcalls and whistles in Lima and here are the top 5 reasons why:

1. we are white

2. we have light eyes

3. we have light hair

4. because Peruvians are more expressive than Americans

5. because my roommates are good looking

Here are the top 3 oddest catcalls I have received:

1. “Hola Leche” (hey milk) – because I am white, get it?
2. “Hola Arroz” (hey rice) – again, because I am white
3. “Que bo-ni-to An-ge-li-to” (what a pretty angel)

However, today – I got the catcall of all catcalls.

To hear this story, you must first understand that in Peru, when an ambulance is going down the street, they not only have bright flashing lights but also loudspeakers. Oftentimes you will hear a muffled voice say sharply, “Pull off to the side of the road!” and then, if people do not comply, “At this instant! Pull off to the side of the road!” and then, if people still do not comply, “HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO TELL YOU PEOPLE!!! GET OFF THE ROAD!!! THIS IS A LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION! HAVE YOU NO HEART!!!” (ok so I have never actually heard the last loudspeaker saying – but I wouldn’t be surprised if it has been said).

Anyhow, this morning I was riding my bike and stared at the ambulance as it was passing me. Out of the loudspeaker, for all the world to hear, came, “Que bonito los ojos!” (translation: What pretty eyes you have).