BRiiinngg!...

Lauren: Amanda! Telephone!

Amanda: Oh. I didn’t even hear it ring.

Lauren: That’s because the phone only rang once, I was on it.

Amanda: Oh, I’m sorry. You were on the phone?

Lauren: No “on it,” as in “on top of it”

Eden: On top of it? You were sitting on the phone?

Lauren: No. Gaaaa!

Meet Lauren

Lauren is one of my roommates. Amanda and I like to tease her about the words which she uses. Here is a dictionary of her vocabulary:

The Dictionary of Lauren:

Same [seym]

A one-word phrase used to show one feels identical with what has just been mentioned:
Amanda: I really wish I could be as cool as Eden.
Lauren: Same.

Stinkin’ cute [sting-kyn kyoot]

Adjective used to express high enthusiasm over someone, some place, some thing, etc.
Lauren: Oh my goodness my roommate is so stinkin’ cute.

Because A…, B…, and C… [bi-kawz ae…, be…, ahnd see]

Phrase used to express something with three different points to back the expression.
Lauren: I really think Eden is the best roommate ever because A - she always leaves bread sacks open, B – she puts her keys in the refrigerator, and C – she likes eating the plastic wrapped around her cheese.

Ya know right? [yah noh rahyt]

A phrase used to express ''I can't believe it either.''
Amanda: Eden is so extremely awesome.
Lauren: Ya know right?

Appendages [uh-pen-dij-ez] (and other words only smart science majors know)

A science-y term which means any body parts that may extend from a body segment.
Lauren: My appendages are cold.
Amanda: That’s probably because Eden isn’t here to warm your heart.

Meet Amanda

Amanda is one of my roommates.

She does not get much sleep because she is an English teacher.

Here is a photo of her trying to work when she should be in bed.

Something I never thought I would ask: So what do the nuns you work with think of your nipple piercing?

Setting: So I am walking with a German, a Peruvian, and American down the street. Yentz (the German…duh) knows just a little bit of both English and Spanish. He volunteers at a clinic my American friend works with.

So Yentz notices three tattoo and piercing parlors across the street. He stops us, turns to us and starts trying to communicate something to us in Spanglish. None of us understand. So, in the middle of the street, he pulls up his shirt, baring his chest. After a moment of wincing, shock, and awkward conversation, we figure out a ball from his nipple piercing has been lost and he is in need of a replacement.

So we go into one tattoo parlor. Yentz isn’t sure how to say what he wants. So he just walks up to the counter and whips up his shirt in the middle of the store. We will soon find the store doesn’t have what he is looking for, however, in Peru when there is a shop specializing in something in one location, shops specializing in the same thing pop up right next door (reason: a cultural connection between shopping and relationships). Anyway, for this reason, we all become acquainted with every tattoo and piercing parlor in the district and every tattoo and piercing parlor in the district becomes acquainted with Yentz’ chest.

He never did find what he was looking for though we each got a free tattoo parlor sticker out of the experience. That was nice. As my American friend said when we laughed over it afterward, “When you live overseas you get to the point where surprises are not so surprising anymore.”

Take a Hike

While in Huancayo we decided to hike Torre Torre, a bunch of odd formations close to the town. To get there, we had to pass through a village which belongs to a group of indigenous people. As we neared the formations, we saw four boys from the village racing down the hill. Kyle reached out her hand to congratulate the boy who won the race.


“Are you going to hike Torre Torre?” the boy asked us.
We answered in the affirmative.
“Do you want us to take you?” the boy asked.
“How much?” we asked like the wise tourists we are.
“Whatever your will is,” the boy answered.
One of the other boys quickly piped in “As long as you let us take pictures with your cameras.”

And then we became seven.










The tour package included:
• The boys pointing out interesting things we may have missed such as a condor head formation.












• Hiking up the steep formations (it took them 2 seconds to hike something that would take us 30).









• Stopping to rest while our guides told the story of the formations. One would stand up, tell a little bit of the story and then would say, “and now my friend will continue the story.” It was extremely cute when the six year old got up to explain his part.









• After the story, the youngest guide sang a song to us in quechua. They then asked us to sing songs to them.
• On the walk back, we shared songs back and forth.

We paid them and said goodbye by taking one final picture.

Making a Scene

Polleras - colorful skirts made from hand-woven wool cloth.

Manta - a rectangular piece of cloth worn by indigenous Peruvian women as a shawl, carry-all, and holder for infants and toddlers.The two items mentioned above are traditional pieces of clothing which normal tourists never consider wearing. However, Kyle and Laura, the girls I traveled with for a 2 day trip to Huancayo, are not your normal tourists.

Here are Kyle and Laura trying on polleras.


Peruvians slowed down and stopped to gawk,
laugh,
or say in astonished voices, “They look sooo pretty.” Even a stern faced cop took time to admire them and tell them in English how beautiful they looked.

Kyle and Laura then decided they ought to purchase mantas to help complete their traditional outfits. The vendor helped the girls put their purchases inside their mantas and fling them across their backs.
And then every single person in the market went crazy when they saw them and we became the tourist attraction.

"Aww. Look at the gringas! Where are their babies?" one asked.

Another woman, dressed in her own pollera and manta walked up to my friends and said, “Look at the tourists! How pretty they look.”
She then turned to me with a frown and said “Why didn’t you buy one?” and then the woman was bold enough to whap me on the rear!

An Idiots Guide to Dummies

It began in the Magdalena Market 5 minutes from my house. He was always standing there, always smiling. His cheesiness mocked me... and occasionally would make me want cheese. On some days he would be wearing a pair of briefs along with a sweater while on colder days he would don a pair of tights, bathrobe, and a simple scarf. Before she left Peru, Dale pulled out her camera and photographed me with him. It was then that it all began.

This continued on the Arequipa trip I went on few months ago. In the darkest corner of our hostel I found her.

Finally, while walking recently down the streets of Huancayo, I stumbled upon one with skin like the night sky. Next to him a companion with the worlds longest side burns. Yes, we were the cause of the laughter of the two salesman in the background of the picture.

It has only been hours since I have realized that I have a thing with taking photos with creepy mannequins ...and I am afraid that my mannequin obsession will not end here.