I was delighted to find that the school play was all about mannequins (nice choice Amanda and Laura). I was even more delighted when one of the props (an actual mannequin arm) was offered to me to be used in my art classes.
But we found that it not only is a wonderful prop and object to draw. Here are other creative ways to use a mannequin arm:
I love my junior high students
I hate fake high pitched voices
My love is torn.
Today, the junior high girls were singing songs in high pitched, super annoying “Alvin and the Chipmunks” voices.
Annoyed boy: That is SO ANNOYING. It would be ok if you sang it in a normal voice but you are singing the song too high!
Chipmunk singer: So what do you want me to do? Sing the song in a super low voice then?
Annoyed boy: Yes! (He then started demonstrating what a super low voice sounded like by singing the same song while making a grinding noise with his voice box. It sounded even more annoying than the high pitched squeals of the girls). Ok I’ll stop now, singing this way hurts me.
Teacher: It hurts me too Seung Jae, It hurts me too.
| 1. | a word puzzle to carefully decipher |
| 2. | a list of typed phrases to humor |
...you know she will ask for a glass of silly mannequin pictures to be taken of her.
While in
Aunt Susan: What would Jesus do? Go to
Jesus spottings continued throughout our whole Cuzco trip. He even was with us while we were in
Aunt Susan: Eden! I lost my way in the ruins and then guess who I saw? Jesus!
Me: So you decided to follow Jesus?
Aunt Susan: Yes, I was lost but then I found Jesus
Later, we didn’t know where we were supposed to meet with the tour group.
Me: I wonder where it is…
Aunt Susan: You should ask Jesus.
Me: What?
Aunt Susan: Well, Jesus is right beside you.
I then turned around and looked up to the heavens and guess who was there...
Then Jesus showed me the way.
Only one week ago, I was visiting
It was strangely pleasant to watch a thoughtless hippi-backpacker hybrid have practical courtesy forced upon him.
2. While in
We visited many cathedrals and museums and Grandma, often tired from walking, would find a place to sit down while letting us explore. One time after visiting a church, we found Grandma, tired of people trying to sell her things, giving the sellers a taste of their own medicine.
The sign she created reads "English lessons: 5 soles" (soles = peruvian currency). Peruvians stopped to laugh and I am sure fewer street vendors stopped to pester her. As Aunt Susan said, now we know why Aunt Anne is the way she is.
3. I was surprised to find that grandma isn’t a wall protecting me from creepy Peruvians but a secret passageway for them. She got to know this Quechuan boy on the bus ride and they exchanged emails. He, of course, he wanted my email.
Me: No.
Boy: (extremely unsubtly) So, you have a boyfriend?
Me: (extremely rudely) NO.
Boy: Why not?
Me: Because there are no Americans in
Grandma: (later that day) Well, I’ll still communicate with him by email but won’t give him yours and I’ll be sure to teach him protestant values and use the internet to translate my email into Spanish…and Quechuan if they have it!
Oh, and here is a photo of the little punk:
I found the above grafiti on my white board after class. The guilty party apparently doesn't understand how name changing works when a marriage happens. Or perhaps he thinks that I like my dad which, granted, I do.
Me: Look at your eyes – are they shaped like circles?
Students: No.
Me: No, actually, if you look at your eyes you can see they are really shaped more like American footballs.
Korean student: My eyes aren’t shaped like footballs.
Other student: No, they are more like Frisbees.
And with that, the football analogy was banished from my lips forever.
Chicha Morada: a peruvian drink made of purple corn.
Negrita: little black woman.
Chicha Morada Negrita: a storebought brand of chicha morada (note the very steriotyped black woman on the package).
So when we went to a restaurant last night and this is what the menu said...
Negrita.......................................S/. 3
Josue: Oh look, this menu says that for just 3 soles you can order yourself a negrita. Anyone want a slave woman to wash their dishes, take out their trash, and do other household chores?
Me: did he just say what I think he said?
Unfortunately, yes, he did. However he is Afro Peruvian meaning his purpose in saying that was not to show disrespect to the tragic history of slavery in
I was talking to a colleague's wife when I heard even more of Josue's doings:
Me: So last night I was hanging out with Nadia, Josue’s girlfriend.
Annie: Josue has a girlfriend?
Me: Yeah, she is really nice, don’t know what she is thinking. AND she is about 5 years older than him. He likes older women aparently.
Annie: Oh I know that already…
Me: What do you mean?
Annie: Well…its kind of embarrassing.
Me: do tell.
Annie: Well, on Sundays I will be standing next to my husband and four children and Josue will be up on stage playing his bass during worship. On occasion, I'll be looking up front and occasionally I will catch his eye and he does this:
(below is the look she demonstrated for me along with a short head lift)
17 to 25 year olds go to my Grupo. There are a lot of younger guys that go as well as many older girls. This has caused there to be a huge gap in maturity levels which makes things interesting… and painful. Let me show you just how painful:
1. Last night, the Pastor was leading the usual bible study. He let us know that he was thinking about starting up a class on God’s view of sexuality. Whispers and soft giggling immediately filled the room. I could almost feel the maturity levels dropping as El Pastor began to explain what the course would be about. He ended the introduction by saying, “It is very important for us to look at sex for just what it is – a blessing from God.”
And then at least three of the guys in the room shouted out a hearty, “Amen!”
2. Josue is a 17 year old guy who acts like an annoying little brother. His favorite pastime is calling me “Miss Page” rather than “Eden.” He does this because he feels it his duty to remind me during my leisure time that I am a mature, hardworking teacher and that it is my job and mine alone to stop relaxing and step up and take responsibility when responsibility is needed (even though often he is the one who creates all the problems to solve).
Here is an example:
Children are making noise and running around restaurant. Many in the restaurant are turning around and looking at them in annoyance.
Josue then says, “Oh but wait! No fears. We have a professora among us!” He turns to me, “Ok Miss Page, take care of them.”
3. Another time, Josue took the hand of Cristian and started holding it just the same way he would hold the hand of his girlfriend. He then turned his head back dramatically and batted his eyelashes at me as if showing off his newest catch.
I immediately asked one of the guys who knows some English, “How do you say ‘scars on my mind’ in Spanish?”
4. Mariano and Cynthia are walking and talking in front of a group of us guys and girls.
“Wait, wait, lets sit back and admire them” says Josue, not letting us pass so that Mariano and Cynthia walk on alone, “Wouldn’t they make such a beautiful couple?”
5. Our intern gringa, Bethany, is just beginning to get a grasp on Spanish. They often pick on her by saying something super fast in Spanish and then turning to Bethany sharply and saying, “Understand?”
I was talking with Mariano later and he asked me, “You have a lot of Americana friends visit this church. So why do none of your friends return? Are the guys not tall and hot enough for them?”
I just laughed but I should have said in reply, “It’s not a physical thing as much as it is a maturity thing.” However, although immature often, they can often surprise you.
6. One of the guys stops and lets me pass him as we are going down the steps.
“What are you doing?” I ask, thinking he is up to another trick.
“Just being a gentleman.”
“Oh.”
Still, none of these guys can ever replace my real little brother.
17 to 25 year olds go to my Grupo. There are a lot of younger guys that go as well as many older girls. This has caused there to be a huge gap in maturity levels which makes things interesting… and painful. Let me show you just how painful:
1. Last night, the Pastor was leading the usual bible study. He let us know that he was thinking about starting up a class on God’s view of sexuality. Whispers and soft giggling immediately filled the room. I could almost feel the maturity levels dropping as El Pastor began to explain what the course would be about. He ended the introduction by saying, “It is very important for us to look at sex for just what it is – a blessing from God.”
And then at least three of the guys in the room shouted out a hearty, “Amen!”
Here is an example:
Children are making noise and running around restaurant. Many in the restaurant are turning around and looking at them in annoyance.
Josue then says, “Oh but wait! No fears. We have a professora among us!” He turns to me, “Ok Miss Page, take care of them.”
3. Another time, Josue took the hand of Cristian and started holding it just the same way he would hold the hand of his girlfriend. He then turned his head back dramatically and batted his eyelashes at me as if showing off his newest catch.
I immediately asked one of the guys who knows some English, “How do you say ‘scars on my mind’ in Spanish?”
4. Mariano and Cynthia are walking and talking in front of a group of us guys and girls.
“Wait, wait, lets sit back and admire them” says Josue, not letting us pass so that Mariano and Cynthia walk on alone, “Wouldn’t they make such a beautiful couple?”
5. Our intern gringa,
I just laughed but I should have said in reply, “It’s not a physical thing as much as it is a maturity thing.” However, although immature often, they can often surprise you.
6. One of the guys stops and lets me pass him as we are going down the steps.
“What are you doing?” I ask, thinking he is up to another trick.
“Just being a gentleman.”
“Oh.”
Still, none of these guys can ever replace my real little brother.
One of the evenings on which I was hanging out with
Then this younger Peruvian guy with longer, slimy brown hair turned to me and said in an even slimier voice, “What ti-i-i-me is it.”
“Its 6:50” I answered.
“Thank yo-u-u-u,” the words slithered out of his mouth.
“Let’s go” I told
"God doesn't demand hectic church programs and frenetic schedules; he only wants his people to know him more intimately." - d.a.
Miss Page after she wakes up: You guys look like sirens sitting on that group of rocks like that.
Student who doesn't listen in English class: What is a siren?
"Influenced-by-Peruvian-Machismo" Student: Is she calling us mermaids? Isn't that a kind of girly thing to be?
Student who lives to do well in school: You know, it's one of those humanoid creatures in the Odyssey that attracts men to their doom.
First Student: Oh, so in other words, Miss Page.
After two horrific Spanish language mistakes this last week, I don't feel like a very good missionary in Peru. I have decided to post them even though they are risqué to increase your entertainment and decrease my pride.
What I meant to say: “Hey, did you catch a wave?”
What I actually said: “Hey, did you have a one night stand with the wave?”
What I meant to say: “Every morning for breakfast I like to put strawberry flavored jam on my bread”
What I actually said: “Every morning for breakfast I like to put strawberry flavored condoms on my bread”
