Cheesy Pick up Line of the Week

For my elementary classes, I wrote the following above a painting on my white board:

What do you see first?

What shapes do you see?

During my high school art class, I turned around to see the following answers scribbled on the board as well:

What do you see first? Ms. Page

What shapes do you see? I cannot see anythings without you

Because anything was written with an additional "s" I soon sleuthed out the English-language-learning culprit.

Second First Day of Teaching

I just finished creating seating charts for my elementary classes. A part of me relished the activity because I felt as though I was playing God.

The first day of this schoolyear was a lot more boring than last year's first day because I was much more relaxed. Here are a few highlights:

1. Watching mass confusion as we have two classes who are beginning middle school this year as we have just changed the system (both the sixth and seventh graders have never done the "switching classes" thing on their own before). All students were afraid and some looked like they were about to cry.

2. One of the new high school boys saying to me in complete seriousness, "I really just want to learn how to draw this year. I am not very good at it. Will you fix me?"

3. One of the new kindergarten girls telling me about her day after school, "I fell down and my box spilled all over the floor but guess what! My teacher didn't even yell at me!"

The view from my classroom window on an unusually sunny day.

Maniaquins

I was delighted to find that the school play was all about mannequins (nice choice Amanda and Laura). I was even more delighted when one of the props (an actual mannequin arm) was offered to me to be used in my art classes.

But we found that it not only is a wonderful prop and object to draw. Here are other creative ways to use a mannequin arm:

• Creep out your students… and then the parents of your students by touching them with it when their backs are turned
• Slide it up your sleeve and have an extra long and goofy arm
• Get odd looks when you greet people on the street with your long and goofy arm
• Put it in your armpit and act like a t-rex
• Pretend like it is your actual arm and scream in pain when someone pulls it off when they shake your hand
• Make wonderful puns like, “Hey! Do you need a hand?
• Flag down taxis then reject them with the appropriate Peruvian arm gestures
• Accidentaly leave it on the floor under a pile of sheets and frighten your maid, Elida.

Eden and the Chipmunks

I love my junior high students

I hate fake high pitched voices

My love is torn.

Today, the junior high girls were singing songs in high pitched, super annoying “Alvin and the Chipmunks” voices.

Annoyed boy: That is SO ANNOYING. It would be ok if you sang it in a normal voice but you are singing the song too high!

Chipmunk singer: So what do you want me to do? Sing the song in a super low voice then?

Annoyed boy: Yes! (He then started demonstrating what a super low voice sounded like by singing the same song while making a grinding noise with his voice box. It sounded even more annoying than the high pitched squeals of the girls). Ok I’ll stop now, singing this way hurts me.

Teacher: It hurts me too Seung Jae, It hurts me too.

2 + 2 = 4

As there are no sinks in the art room, cleaning can be quite complicated. Realizing this, I tried to eliminate problems by describing the system well.

Miss Page: As there are two sinks in the girl's bathroom, there should only be two girls in there at a time cleaning their brushes. It's the same with the boys' bathroom.

Student: No it's not the same.

Miss Page: Why not?

Student: Because there are FOUR sinks in the boy's bathroom.

And then I saw where I had lost my count.

Hooligans!

I found the above grafiti on my white board after class. The guilty party apparently doesn't understand how name changing works when a marriage happens. Or perhaps he thinks that I like my dad which, granted, I do.

I hate football

Me: Look at your eyes – are they shaped like circles?

Students: No.

Me: No, actually, if you look at your eyes you can see they are really shaped more like American footballs.

Korean student: My eyes aren’t shaped like footballs.

Other student: No, they are more like Frisbees.

And with that, the football analogy was banished from my lips forever.

Happy Pi Day!

Did you know that in Spanish, Pi is pronounced "Pee?" For this reason, a potty humor plaugue occured in school yesterday. Because most everyone at our school likes Saturday more than math, we decide to celebrate Pi Day a day early.

It started with the entire school sitting in Chase Hall, buzzing of scarcely-held-in excitement.

Suddenly, as 2 teachers carried in the giant Pi sign, the students could hold it in no longer. A cheer of loyal pi-triatism broke out.

Mr Shlack, the high school math teacher, quieted the crowd with a face beaming of pride, "Does anyone know what day it is?"

No one answered him except Miss Mural, my English teacher roomate, who yelled "DORK DAY!" from the back of the room.

Mr Shlack attempted to cover up her comment and then tried again, "Does anyone know what day it is?"

One or two students then were kind enough to say "Pi day."

He then proceeded to describe pi and the English teacher continued working to assure all that Mr. Shlack was at his dorkiest.

Afterward, elementary students came up and sang songs about pi - adorably ignorant about the symbol they were singing about or the dorkiness they were making themselves suceptible to.

Then came the competition. Representatives from the high school came up and saw how many digits of pi they could repeat. The winner listed 253 digits.

Then came my favorite part of pie day.

I should have eaten 3.14 pieces of pie. Instead I rounded down and ate 3. Maybe next year...

Maidens of the Sea

During the high school retreat last weekend I hiked up a hill near the beach with a lot of boy students. We stopped to rest - me on my rock...

...boys on theirs.

Miss Page after she wakes up: You guys look like sirens sitting on that group of rocks like that.

Student who doesn't listen in English class: What is a siren?

"Influenced-by-Peruvian-Machismo" Student: Is she calling us mermaids? Isn't that a kind of girly thing to be?

Student who lives to do well in school: You know, it's one of those humanoid creatures in the Odyssey that attracts men to their doom.

First Student: Oh, so in other words, Miss Page.

Meet Amanda

Amanda is one of my roommates.

She does not get much sleep because she is an English teacher.

Here is a photo of her trying to work when she should be in bed.

Sleeper Bus

Wednesday, the junior and senior high students went their first ICSL service project this school year. After a day of shoveling rocks, laying out driveway stones, priming walls, scraping walls, and performing dramas and messages for two schools in the town, the students were exhausted. Here is a collection of photographs Lindsay and I took on the bus ride home:










And then Lindsay and I slept too. Photographing sleeping students is tiring work!

I Love Grading

In the movie "Groundhog Day" the Phil Conner (the main character) begins to take piano lessons from a music teacher who is continuously surprised at how proficient he is, since she always believes it is his first lesson. The music teacher smugly says "That's my student" to a group of people in awe of her Phil's musical talents.

Sometimes I feel like that teacher - taking credit for talent which cost me little effort. Here are some photos from sketchbooks I graded recently.

Que profesora creeposa!

When we were in Arequipa we saw a strange advertisement for an educational facility. On it was an innocent looking little girl being taught by a very creepy professor (shifty eyes and a sinister smile). Though we didn’t get a photo of the sign, Kathy and Lauren reenacted it in the photograph below and I can vouch that they reenacted it well.

Kathy played the part as the creepy teacher, Lauren as the innocent young student.


Well, I got my Peruvian ID a few weeks ago, which means I am a resident of Peru and no longer a tourist of Peru. When I was getting my ID photo taken, the camera caught me unawares. And when I was handed my ID, my photograph made me gasp.

My ID photo hints that in the depths of every teacher's heart there is a shifty-eyed teacher waiting for a chance to capture her character. And each one has the same smile.

I did it for you, mom

At school, October is I-Love-To-Read month. On the 31st, today, we celebrated "Storybook Day," (a very smooth way to avoid Halloween controversy) and all the students and staff dressed up as characters from books they read this month.

I preferred to spend my leisure time with people rather than with books and for this reason, I ended up dressing up as a character from the short and sweet, “Election 2008: A Voter’s Guide”...




...Yes, I went as Sarah Palin.
Happy Storybook Day.

Here are some other characters:

Pot-y Humor

Today at school I made a list of all the things I need to prepare for my busy Tuesday tomorrow. I opened up the list just now (at night) and read the following:

To Prep for Tuesday:
Bring pot to school.

Wait, I can explain!
I am planning on letting my art club girls try melting things on Tuesday, but no COOKING pot TO BOIL WATER IN is available. Thus, I need to bring one.

Lucas*

*name is not really Lucas

I happened to be walking alongside 9-year-old Lucas, whose father is a teacher at the school, in the hall about a week ago. He was carrying his father’s briefcase and shoulder bag for him. As we happened to be walking together down the hall he said in a man-voice, "I have big things planned for my classes tomorrow."

Michelle (a volunteer mom at the school): I like your new haircut, Lucas - it looks good on you.
Lucas: Don’t you already have a husband?

Eden's Art Class of Mystical Wonders

.After a frantic search for something for my students to draw, I laid my eyes upon a glass-encased eagle head in the library. The school's mascot is the eagle. I went to Elizabeth, our secretary and temporary librarian, to ask her if I could use it.
Elizabeth's reply: (in cute Peruvian accent) "Sure! That thing has been creeping me out! Get it out of here."

I then proceeded to "get it out of there."

Eden: Amanda, could you help me lift down this eagle head from the shelf.
Amanda: Sure.
(we lift down the eagle head and set it on the table where Amanda and Jessica are working)
Jessica: That eagle head sure is creepy
Eden and Amanda: Yeah…
Eden: Well, I have to go teach a class for a bit. Would you mind guarding the eagle head for me while I am gone?
Jessica: Sure. As long as it isn't here for too long.
Eden: (Eden turns the eagle head so it appears to be looking straight at Jessica) I am just going to leave it like this…
(pause)
Jessica: …ok the head can't be facing me.

As the eagle head creeped me out in my classroom as well (especially when I was in there alone during planning periods), I covered it with a blanket. At the end of the day, Vanessa, the janitor, was curious to know what the blanket covered object was.

Vanessa: What secrets do you have hidden here?
Eden: Oh, just the eagle head. I took it from the library.
Vanessa: You're such a thief!
Eden: I know
Vanessa: (peeks under blanket) That is really scary looking (then whispers, as if seeing the eagle's creepiness has broken her spirit) Ok, Eden. I won't tell anyone.


Here is the eagle head.

*title reference

3 reasons why my week was amazing

1. Students did a wonderful (and sometimes creepy) job posing and drawing one another on Friday.

2. Though leading mural painting for a ICSL "spiritual emphasis week" activity made these last two weeks challenging, the work was well worth it. The 4th-7th graders did an excellent job! (It will be complete soon).
3. I was able to actually complete some artwork of my own for the first time in a month or two this Saturday!

Hooray for watercolor pencils!




Quote of the week

Background Information: All students are gathered together in the meeting hall on the last hour of the day on Friday for what the school schedule said would be a "concert," put together by 3 middle-aged men (fathers and teachers of the students). I was sitting next to a group of my students as we were waiting for the "concert" to begin.

Student: Why are they calling this a "concert" anyway? It's not going to be like a real concert is it?
Miss Page: I don't think so, but when the band comes up, we should scream like it IS a real concert.
Student: Yeah! Like they're a boy band.
Miss Page: Um... Ok.

So now my throat still hurts, three middle aged men feel 30 years younger, and the administration may be reconsidering requiring teachers to sit amongst the students during assemblies.

Mi casa es tu escuela

My roommate Amanda is a hard working first year teacher who often stays late at the school.

Last week we were sitting in our lovely house and she turned to me and sighed, "I just left my rubric at home."

She paused and then said, "I just called school 'home.' That’s sad."

The Little First Year Art Teacher and her Big Bad Mouth

Once upon a time, there lived a first year art teacher named Miss Page. It so happened that one day, as she was helping her 7th grade art class draw self-portraits, a young lad did approach her saying in good cheer, “Miss Page, can I draw mountains in the back of my self-portrait?”
“Well,” Miss Page did reply, “if you do do the mountains make sure you follow the same rules you followed when you drew your face.”
Alas, at that very moment every boy in the classroom began to giggle as if accursed.
Miss Page sighed, “Yes. Your teacher just said ‘doo doo.’ ”
And from that minute on class never was quite itself again until the end of the period.
The End.

(if you giggled immediately after you read the first “do do” confess in the comment section below).