I did it for you, mom

At school, October is I-Love-To-Read month. On the 31st, today, we celebrated "Storybook Day," (a very smooth way to avoid Halloween controversy) and all the students and staff dressed up as characters from books they read this month.

I preferred to spend my leisure time with people rather than with books and for this reason, I ended up dressing up as a character from the short and sweet, “Election 2008: A Voter’s Guide”...




...Yes, I went as Sarah Palin.
Happy Storybook Day.

Here are some other characters:

Pot-y Humor

Today at school I made a list of all the things I need to prepare for my busy Tuesday tomorrow. I opened up the list just now (at night) and read the following:

To Prep for Tuesday:
Bring pot to school.

Wait, I can explain!
I am planning on letting my art club girls try melting things on Tuesday, but no COOKING pot TO BOIL WATER IN is available. Thus, I need to bring one.

Tourist-of-prey

Chullo: a Peruvian style of hat made from vicuña, alpaca, llama, or sheep's wool protecting it's wearer from the harsh elements of the Andean Mountain Region. The most common consumer of the chullo is the native Peruvian tourist. During our trip last week, we sighted many variations of this camera-bearing carnivore.













While our bus stopped to let us walk around we saw a British woman preying on chullos. She was speaking to the vendor in English and assuming she was being completely understood. A real-life picture of the scene and a record of exactly what was being said can be seen below:












Woman: (holds up a chullo) You wouldn’t happen to have one of a darker color would you?

Vendor: (stares at first, then, confused, picks up a new chullo to show her)

Woman: Oh, you are right this color is quite lovely. Do you have any more like it?

Vendor: (stares)

And the woman didn’t stop talking after this.




There was one other American on the bus who was traveling with her Peruvian husband.
She was talking in Spanish to a tour guide but didn’t have the words she needed in order to communicate well and was struggling for a long period of time with one word in particular. In frustration, she turned to her husband and said in an angry voice, “Honey! Tell me the word I am thinking of!”

You can see a photo of the disgruntled stranger and her husband to the left. Note that she also is a chullo consumer.



Oh yes. Below, are the 3 most deadly chullo consumers of all.

They should be called absenfree ballots

Today












upside-down.


















Absentee ballots: the freedom to vote can be so much more free.

Yes, that is me in the picture above, blur lines expressing that up to this moment, a vote has never been accomplished with such boundless passion.

A New Flavor of Peru!

We had over a half a week off of school for a holiday. So, four teachers and I traveled to Peru's Culca Canyon. It sort of reminded me of the trips my family takes to Immanuel Mission near Christmastime, except that the dirt wasn't red and the land was being farmed on ancient looking terraces.

I have added the following items to my list of gastronomic accomplishments:
Empanada de Pulpo (Pastry stuffed with Octopus)







Alpaca










Maca y Mocha Frappuccino (Maca comes from a root found in the Andes and has been used as an energy giving herb since the time of Incan rule)










Cheese ice cream










Beer ice cream (only a little lick – everyone else was doing it)










Hot red pepper ice cream


Quote of the Week:
We were walking around an Arequipan market when we saw around 25 frogs hopping cheerfully within the confines of a glass tank:


Eden: "Jugo de Rana"? That means Frog Juice! They don’t actually drink the frogs do they?
Kathy: I don’t know. Go ask the merchant, Eden.

Eden approached the stand

Eden: Good Afternoon. I have a question.
Merchant: Yes…
Eden: Are you really selling frog juice?
Merchant: Yes, its good for headaches and other pains.
Eden: But you can’t drink a live frog whole can you?
Merchant: No, of course not.
Eden: (sigh of relief)
Merchant: No, first we throw the live frog into a blender and liquidify it. THEN you can drink the frog.

Eden said thank you and them walked over to her friends to tell them the merchant's response to the question. A long and loud “eewwwwwww!” soon filled the general area.

Oh yes, at the same booth, miracle muscle growth liquid was being sold.

Guessing What

I was walking across my room yesterday when I heard a deep noise which shook my entire house. At first I thought one of the following catastrophes were occurring:



But then I realized what was really happening:


After one more deep, earthshaking boom it was all over.

Here is what I did afterward:


Why? Because of the excitement of experiencing my first earthquake of course!

Peru and Prejudice

While at church, I suddenly transform into the heroine of a Jane Austen Novel as I have my own Peruvian Mr. Collins to torture me there – he is about 6 inches shorter than me, quiet in a creepy way, and is always lurking behind me. Occasionally, he sends shivers up my spine by tapping me on the shoulder...softly.

He took me by the arm today so that he could introduce me to his grandmother, who seemed to think a match between her grandson and I would be quite satisfactory. After this they asked me if I would sit and eat lunch with them at the church anniversary party. I tried to politely excuse myself by saying I was planning on eating with my friend (Kyle the Americana) who, if they would please excuse me, I was needing to find right now. After scanning the room I could not find her and, as he was still lurking behind me, I desperately fled to the bathroom.

After this, he was just around the corner, looking my way, and so I hid behind a pillar. He would be sure to see me soon! I needed an escape. A girl I know walked by and I caught her, “Hi! So good to see you! Are you staying for lunch? Mind if I wait with you?”

Mr. Collins, though a pain, helped me to gain a new friend today.

Q: Why don't you go to Sunday School, Eden?

A: Because the church service alone is 3 hours long and I can only take in so much Spanish in one blow.

Here is how they manage to make the service twice as long as I am accustomed to:

10:30AM
Service is supposed to begin
10:40AM
Service begins

10 minutes of prayer
30 minutes of worship
NOTE: Worship at my church is pretty special because:

1. tone deaf or not everyone sings with all their might
   
2. the super old keyboard makes every song a true 80's experience - worship often sounds exactly like this actually.
   
3. The guy playing the keyboard does have a mullet now (see him in an older photo below).
4. the songs usually are made up of meaningful rather than meaningless lyrics.

30 minutes of a special presentation (missions presentation/testimonies/skit etc).
60 minutes of preaching (if speaker is feeling merciful; +15 more minutes if he isn't)
20 minutes of communion
10 minutes for offering
20 minutes of announcements
10 minutes for prayer and one last song

1:30PM service over
30 to 60 minutes of everyone talking amongst their friends and family and only then do they go to eat lunch (which often takes about an hour to eat).

I will resist describing the young adult group I attend Saturday nights which usually lasts 4 hours. Peruvians have little room for ADHD, lots of room for relationships. Though they require me to change my nature, I love them sometimes.

Lucas*

*name is not really Lucas

I happened to be walking alongside 9-year-old Lucas, whose father is a teacher at the school, in the hall about a week ago. He was carrying his father’s briefcase and shoulder bag for him. As we happened to be walking together down the hall he said in a man-voice, "I have big things planned for my classes tomorrow."

Michelle (a volunteer mom at the school): I like your new haircut, Lucas - it looks good on you.
Lucas: Don’t you already have a husband?

Eden's Art Class of Mystical Wonders

.After a frantic search for something for my students to draw, I laid my eyes upon a glass-encased eagle head in the library. The school's mascot is the eagle. I went to Elizabeth, our secretary and temporary librarian, to ask her if I could use it.
Elizabeth's reply: (in cute Peruvian accent) "Sure! That thing has been creeping me out! Get it out of here."

I then proceeded to "get it out of there."

Eden: Amanda, could you help me lift down this eagle head from the shelf.
Amanda: Sure.
(we lift down the eagle head and set it on the table where Amanda and Jessica are working)
Jessica: That eagle head sure is creepy
Eden and Amanda: Yeah…
Eden: Well, I have to go teach a class for a bit. Would you mind guarding the eagle head for me while I am gone?
Jessica: Sure. As long as it isn't here for too long.
Eden: (Eden turns the eagle head so it appears to be looking straight at Jessica) I am just going to leave it like this…
(pause)
Jessica: …ok the head can't be facing me.

As the eagle head creeped me out in my classroom as well (especially when I was in there alone during planning periods), I covered it with a blanket. At the end of the day, Vanessa, the janitor, was curious to know what the blanket covered object was.

Vanessa: What secrets do you have hidden here?
Eden: Oh, just the eagle head. I took it from the library.
Vanessa: You're such a thief!
Eden: I know
Vanessa: (peeks under blanket) That is really scary looking (then whispers, as if seeing the eagle's creepiness has broken her spirit) Ok, Eden. I won't tell anyone.


Here is the eagle head.

*title reference

3 reasons why my week was amazing

1. Students did a wonderful (and sometimes creepy) job posing and drawing one another on Friday.

2. Though leading mural painting for a ICSL "spiritual emphasis week" activity made these last two weeks challenging, the work was well worth it. The 4th-7th graders did an excellent job! (It will be complete soon).
3. I was able to actually complete some artwork of my own for the first time in a month or two this Saturday!

Hooray for watercolor pencils!




Quote of the week

Background Information: All students are gathered together in the meeting hall on the last hour of the day on Friday for what the school schedule said would be a "concert," put together by 3 middle-aged men (fathers and teachers of the students). I was sitting next to a group of my students as we were waiting for the "concert" to begin.

Student: Why are they calling this a "concert" anyway? It's not going to be like a real concert is it?
Miss Page: I don't think so, but when the band comes up, we should scream like it IS a real concert.
Student: Yeah! Like they're a boy band.
Miss Page: Um... Ok.

So now my throat still hurts, three middle aged men feel 30 years younger, and the administration may be reconsidering requiring teachers to sit amongst the students during assemblies.

Mi casa es tu escuela

My roommate Amanda is a hard working first year teacher who often stays late at the school.

Last week we were sitting in our lovely house and she turned to me and sighed, "I just left my rubric at home."

She paused and then said, "I just called school 'home.' That’s sad."

The one where I finally write something serious

I have begun to get to know Peruvians my age by going to the young adult group at the church I attend. Last night, three girls were accompanying me home and we were walking next to a busy street. Gabi, one of the girls pointed across the street, and asked us if we knew what was going on.
We all looked across the street to see chaos: pedestrians clearing off the street, cars driving out of control. We looked closer to see a crowd of shouting, angry looking men carrying sticks. Then we realized that the crowd of men was running full speed in our direction.
Cynthia, another girl with us, yelled, “RUN!” and so we did, frantically looking for somewhere to hide ourselves. We stopped at an apartment building and Cynthia pressed the intercom button frantically to see if someone would let us in. Fortunately, someone did and we sat down inside, watching men run past, police on their tail.
Meanwhile the girls explained to me that the men were likely a part of a gang and that the worst they would do is steal wallets and scare people.
They said that this kind of thing happens only occasionally in Lima, but that it is especially rare that it would happen in the area we were walking through.
I have never before seen a large group of people so out of control unless you count going to Wal-Mart for an after Christmas sale (How do I miss thee Wal-Mart? Let me count the ways…)

My understanding is now stretched, the definition of civil unrest is now truer in my mind, the world is a much more serious place than I once thought it was.
My faith in my own world has been shaken up and I see now there is only one thing I can ever have complete faith in.

Though it wasn’t as scary as it was interesting, afterward, I had an unpleasant nightmare about my school being attacked by the Sendero Luminoso, the Maoist guerrilla organization in Peru. They were dressed up as clowns which put it on my top 10 scariest nightmare list for sure.

The Little First Year Art Teacher and her Big Bad Mouth

Once upon a time, there lived a first year art teacher named Miss Page. It so happened that one day, as she was helping her 7th grade art class draw self-portraits, a young lad did approach her saying in good cheer, “Miss Page, can I draw mountains in the back of my self-portrait?”
“Well,” Miss Page did reply, “if you do do the mountains make sure you follow the same rules you followed when you drew your face.”
Alas, at that very moment every boy in the classroom began to giggle as if accursed.
Miss Page sighed, “Yes. Your teacher just said ‘doo doo.’ ”
And from that minute on class never was quite itself again until the end of the period.
The End.

(if you giggled immediately after you read the first “do do” confess in the comment section below).

Feliz Cumpleanos Mama

HI MOM
I (along with some friends) made this for you and it is now located on a cliff overlooking the ocean in Central Peru. I guess it's kind of like me pathetically "buying a star" for you except that it didn't cost me a cent and there is a 0% possibility that you are getting scammed.

Tyr - d

My Tuesday Schedule
(the fullest day of my week)

5:20AM wake up

6:20 leave for school by bicycle

6:35 arrive at school

7:45 prayer meeting

8:15 10th grade art - class begins after all students have sleep-walked into class (the class is usually fairly quiet)

9:10 7th grade art - class begins after all students have ran into the classroom full of energy and excitement (they are a group of multitaskers – and will often sing, chat, and make evil plans … while drawing beautifully as well of course)

10:00 I plan while a boy’s Bible class is making use of my room

10:50 6th grade art – a wonderful, respectful, art-loving group

11:40 I plan while an advanced Spanish class is making use of my room

12:00 eat a lunch which the Peruvians I eat with often make fun of. They usually will bring in entire meals as lunch is the biggest meal of a Peruvian’s day

12:40 to 2:40 I teach K, 1, 2, 3 all in a row with no breaks. After this I am exhausted!

2:40 11th and 12th grade art – only 4 students, it’s a laid back group

3:30 clean up classroom

3:45 to 4:45 art club

5:00 leave for home by bicycle

5:15 stop at grocery store to pick up some items

6:00 arrive home

7:00 eat something

7:30 to 10:30 make sure I am ready for tomorrow, procrastinate by writing blog entries

10:30PM I die



Pictured to the left is the god Tyr, identified with Mars, after whom Tuesday is named. Now you can feel free to smugly chuckle at my pun title.

Shelf Assemblage for Dummies in Lima

How to make a shelf for your classroom in America:
1.) Get in car
2.) Drive to Ace Hardware
3.) Have boards cut for you
4.) Put boards in car
5.) Drive to school
6.) Assemble shelf




















How to make a shelf for your classroom in Lima:
1.) Walk to bus stop
2.) Get hit on while walking to the bus stop
3.) Flag down a combi (van-bus thing)
4.) Get hit on while flagging down a combi
5.) Tell the combi man you want to be let off at Ace Hardware
6.) Get hit on by the combi man (who has serious billy bob teeth)
7.) Enter Ace Hardware
8.) Get hit on while entering Ace Hardware
9.) Have boards cut for you with painstaking precision
10.) Get treated exceptionally well throughout the whole process
11.) Leave Ace Hardware and barter for a taxi to put yourself and the cut boards in
12.) Arrive at school and let taxi driver carry boards inside for you
13.) Begin assembling shelf only to realize the school's electric screwdriver has gone missing
14.) Let one of the carpenters (who happens to be working in the school this Saturday) assemble the entire shelf for you in 5 seconds (Just when I think I have lost my faith in ever developing a positive view of Peruvian men, one will do something completely unselfish and self-sacrificing for me).








You can see that my classroom has changed since I last showed it to you.
New features include:
1 shelf
1 plant
1 drying rack
40 books
50 pieces of student artwork on display (some visible in hallway)
1 snail friend attached to the window next to my desk

Imprudent Students

1. The other day the history teacher picked up the following note which had been passed during class by one of the ESL students:
Though spelled wrong and grammatically incorrect, at least he knows English well enough to make a strong point.


2. Lately I have been working to improve the drawing skills of my elementary students. For this reason, I often will have them draw random objects I find – leaves, plastic flowers, etc. Recently they have been giving me objects which I can add to my collection such as feathers and shells, but the other day they were super excited as they carried a folded up paper towel to me. I opened it. Below is what was inside.
I will treasure it always.

3. In a high school class, one of my students rigged up the following contraption in order to make his drawing's subject matter more interesting.

4.

Public School in Kansas:
parents need to tell students not to stay up past 1:00 AM playing video games

International School in Lima:
parents need to tell students not to stay up past 1:00 AM doing unnecessary homework



Public School in Kansas:
students refer to me as “Miss Page”

International School in Lima:
students (mostly Korean) refer to me as “Meeeees! Meeeeeeeess!”

SUNday!!!

Yesterday was sunny here. The sun rises again today.
Below is a picture of what I am doing right now.

Eden Simmons House Tour

Come and visit my house by watching the video below.

Warning: Images in this video may disturb you. This video is NOT recommended for children under the age of 16. It was an unusually sunny day here putting Eden into an excited/weird/happy/Richardsimmonsy mood when recording.



I apologize.