Pirated!

One day after church 2 of my girl friends
and I were planning on having a nice quiet meal together and then going to my house to watch a movie.

SUDDENLY our plans were ATTACKED BY FIVE FRIGHTENING PIRATES!

Introducing…

Helmsman Miguel (in the background)

[caption id="attachment_574" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Helmsman Miguel is in charge of the pirate vessel steerage"][/caption]

First Mate Josue

Captain Nadia

[caption id="attachment_569" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Captain Nadia and I "][/caption]

Crewman Christian

[caption id="attachment_571" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Crewman Christian taking a nap when he should be sweeping the decks"][/caption]

Ugly faced Pete

[caption id="attachment_568" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="in my personal opinion Ugly-faced-Pete is the most annoying of the pirates"][/caption]

Here is what happened next:

Crewman Christian: Yarrr. We are hijacking your weak and feminine plans. Instead of having a nice quiet girly lunch of fruit, salad, and hummus you are going to eat at a meaty, manly buffet

Helmsman Miguel: Aye! And instead of watching a light romanceyou are going to watch this awful terror film

We sailed to a nearby market in the cramped pirate vesselwhere my pirate friends could purchase the pirated movie from other pirate-y riff raff.

And then we sat down and watched 2 hours of torture. None of us liked the movie. I either had my eyes closed or was checking my email most of the film.

The entire time, Miguel was telling us that at the ending of the film there would be a dialogue explaining why all the torture was happening throughout the entire movie. But then it turned out that the Spanish subtitles no longer worked the last 15 minutes of the movie. All the dialogue just came out in its original French with no translation.

They all muttered angry complaints about the unreliability of the fellow pirates they bought the movie from. No honor among thieves I guess. After watching a good movie and then just hanging around chatting, the pirates left, sailing off into the sunset, promising to return one day.

I suppose I hope they do. Yarrr.

How to Celebrate Carnival in Peru

A month ago, Amanda and I had a conversation that went something like this…

Amanda: It’s the last day of carnival isn’t it?
Eden: Yeah…we should totally go and attack our friends as well as random strangers with water guns.
Amanda: I am in agreement with you.

The day ended with Amanda and I going home with a sense of success that we have never felt before. We guarantee you can feel this same sense of carnivictory if you just follow these 8 Carnival guidelines:

1. Plan your attack on one of the last days of February That way, there will be no time for a victim’s vengeance.


2. Make your own water guns You can save money by attaching the squirt tops of Windex-like containers and attaching them to water bottles.

[caption id="attachment_561" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The Carnies showing off their homemade water guns"][/caption]

3. Call the person you are planning on attacking in advance to make sure they are home "Hi Kathy… I was just calling to see if you had my movie 'I am So Going to get you Wet.' I forget who I lent it to."


4. Always have a back up plan Amanda was going to lure Kathy out to the street and then I was going to come out from around the corner and squirt her. But it turns out that Kathy was in her pajamas and Amanda had to yell so I could hear “OH! WHATS THAT KATHY? YOU CAN’T COME OUTSIDE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT IN DECENT CLOTHING?” So we ended up just breaking into her house and chasing her around with our water guns.


5. Let your prey come to you Oftentimes, unsuspecting students can be lured to a home where they can easily be carnivalled by three of their evil teachers.


6. The back of a combi is a prime location for squirting people From our location, we were able to quite easily attack random people in other vehicles.


7. Don’t squirt people until the stoplight turns green I made the poor decision of squirting a driver when he was stopped at a red light. He laughed and then stared at us until we felt maximum awkwardness and the light turned green again.


8. Know the natural habitat of your prey ICSL students apparently migrate to grassy, shaded areas on weekends. We hit the jackpot when we found over 20 of our secondary students at a nearby park and were able to attack each and every one of them.

[caption id="attachment_560" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption=""Hey Eden! We've hit the jackpot!""][/caption]