Eden and the City

Today mom and I had time to kill in Wichita, so we went to AmVets, our favorite thrift store (look to the right to see the "National Commander" of Am Vets). Unfortunately, we (and a black woman* who had also just arrived) soon discovered that the store was not yet open and the three of us sat on a bench facing a semi-busy street in downtown Wichita. Then a strange thing happened. A man who had stopped at a red light all the way across the street rolled down his car window and yelled our way:

Random man: “Hey! Aren’t you that one girl from Sex and the City? I saw you on TV the other night!”

Mom: Well, he isn’t talking about me.

Black woman*: I know he isn’t talking about me.

Me: (nervously) What is Sex and the City?

So I guess I look like a Lady-of-the-Evening?

*I hope that my father will understand that I do not mean to use the descriptive word to encourage people to prize their skin color rather than their character, I merely mean to use the word to enhance my description of the day's occurrences.

Letter from Home II

Dear Ma,
We are having a great week HOME ALONE!Hope you are having an awesome time!
Love Eden Dale and Pa



P.S. We also did some of the things that we actually usually do. Like

eating cereal

brushing our teeth in excitement

and blogging with creepy looks on our faces.

For Better?... or For Worse?

These last weeks have been full of organizing and cleaning for me as this will likely be my last month of living at home for a long time. As I was cleaning I found some old comic strips that Joel and I "improved." To see the words clearly, click on the comic strip and the internet will magically bigify it for you.

Letter from Home

This week, as my mother is cooking at camp and as my other siblings are either working at camp or in Topeka, Dale, Daddy, and I will be home alone!
Last year, it was the other way around. Dale and I cooked while our mom was at home and she sent us the following email and included photos of her time away from us:

Dear Eden and Dale
I am having a great week! I am PUMPED [inside joke]. Hope you are having an
AWESOME [inside joke] time.
love ma

Dale and I are going to think of an even more AWESOME email to send to her while she is away - I will be sure to post it!

"Those tapeworms get you every time." –Dale Page

So last night I interviewed with the International Christian School of Lima and it went terribly wrong - here is an excerpt:

Principal: Who would you say are your missionary heroes?
Me: I have always enjoyed the story of Bruchko.
Principal: Oh yes, I have read that! What about the story did you like?
Me: (rambling nervously) I always looked up to how he was willing to do something that was extremely uncomfortable for him because it was what God wanted him to do plus there is that part about the tape worm that is pretty cool. What am I thinking! Why did I bring up the part about tapeworms!
Principal: Huh?
Me: Oh, I was just remembering a part of the story - it isn't important.
Principal: No really, which part was that?
Me: OH NO he won't let me off! Well, there was a gruesome story in the book about the tape worm which Bruce decides to cure his hunger with...

After the interview I was thinking: I am so not getting the job!

Well, I just got a phone call and found out they want me anyway!

The school seems like a perfect fit for me as I want to live and get involved in a Spanish-speaking community, work with students and parents of students who have never opened a Bible before, and work with a school that would support my teaching of art!

Look forward to future posts about Peru life - hopefully none involving tape-worms.

Here is a photo of Miraflores - the most upscale district of Lima and the district in which the school is located. I hear that there is a Starbucks there too - one close to the school.

How to make writing a teacher work sample fun!

Right now I have just about completed my “teacher work sample” – a giant boring paper that teachers have to write so they can graduate. As I was reading the “Teacher Work Sample Handbook” (which is a truly fascinating read) I stumbled upon this passage:

“To protect the privacy of the students, do not include any student names in any part of the TWS including references and appendixes. Also use a fictitious name for the actual school in which your TWS was completed.”

Here are a few excerpts from my TWS which show that I for one took the instructions seriously:

Hogwarts High School is a regular school located in an urban community primarily consisting of families of below average socio-economic status (Hogwarts High School Website, 2007).

Mr. Snape’s 8th hour drawing and painting class meets during the last hour of the day. Two of the students in the class are in gifted programs while 2 are in special education programs because of learning disabilities. One of the learning disabled students, Harry, has difficulty vocalizing his needs to authority figures, and sometimes refuses to do his work...

References:
Hogwarts High School Website. (2007). Retrieved March 15, 2008, from http://www.hogwartshighschool.org/usd666.com

I do not get to know which WSU professor gets to grade it, but I do get to know that they will be delightfully surprised.

Oh yes, above is a photo I took of a typical day student teaching in Mr. Snape's drawing and painting class.

Happy Saint Patrick's

Silly White Teacher

At the high school in which I am student teaching, black students are the majority and I am getting too accustomed to hearing their slang. One student in the class has the name KeadRIAN, but the black kids call him KeadRON. One day, the inevitable happened. I recorded what was said below:

Me: Keadrian. Have a seat please.
Keadrian: (has a seat and then when I am not looking gets up again).
Me: Keadron!
(all the black kids laugh)
Jasmine: she call you Kead-RON!
Latisha: Yeah she be talking black!
Me: (quietly) I meant Keadrian.
(they keep laughing)

In the same class we are working on basket weaving...

Me: Hm.. You need to weave your basket tighter, Jasmine
Keadrian: Look at how tight my basket is Miss Page.
Me: Wow, your basket is crazy tight!
(all the black kids laugh at me again)
Jasmine: She say yo basket is “craayzee tight” Keadron.
Latisha: Yeah, she one of us now.

Another basketry conversation:

Me (looking at a student’s basket): So why did you choose to weave a smiley face on your basket?
Jack: Because I’m a happy person I guess.
Me (when the same student starts walking aimlessly around the room): Have a seat.
Jack: Why do you have to enforce the rules?
Me: What would the world be like if no one ever enforced the rules?
Jack (looking dreamily off into the distance): Then I would have two smiley faces on my basket.

Let the search begin

Dale: What CD do you want me to put in Eden?

Me: Lets try one of the hymn CD’s.

(Dale puts in a CD – music plays)

Me: This is awful, the men are singing all preppy.

Mom: Yeah, like they're in some high school boy's glee club.

Dad: It’s better than the urban yodeler hymn CD’s you guys have been listening to.

He has a point. If anyone ever finds a hymn CD that doesn't have the problems we found above, let us know.

It Can Be Arranged

Last weekend, my mom, dad, Joel, and I went up to visit Paul in Topeka at his new home. I laughed when I saw the way he had arranged his furniture. On one side of the room was half the furniture, on the other, the other half – if you want your guests to stare at one another awkwardly I suppose this layout would be alright.

So anyway, mom and I thought we were very wise in rearranging things.

After this, Paul came home with an old K-State friend who, it turns out, claimed he had "already moved around the furniture." Oops.

Root Canal Ravings

“It all started when I was an adolescent girl, too proud and foolish to listen to my dentist’s advice and floss my teeth.” Thus begins Root Canal starring Eden Page and Dr. Meyers. The film was a bit predictable but surprisingly not as painful an experience as last year’s Filling (starring Dr. May and Eden Page). However, the Oscar worthy performance of Dr. Meyers was offset by Eden Page’s less than admiral acting. A slight tearjerker and yet not appealing to the heart, suspenseful but not quite a horror flick, the film fails in all possible ways. The ending of this dull film is as numbing as its beginning – I give it one scar.

Root Canal Part II will make it’s premiere March 6^th. We shall see if Dr. Meyers is able to pull the operation out of the hole it has drilled itself into.

So I found this photo when looking up root canal pictures for this blog entry. Don't look too closely or he will steal your soul.

Dale Ray and Eden Stewart

6:20 Monday – at the house we are sitting

Eden: This bread pudding isn’t done.

Dale: No but it still tastes good.

Eden: Still, it would be better if we stuck it in the oven for about 10 more minutes

Dale: But we have to go to Lynette’s right now!

Eden: No problem, lets just put it back into the oven and turn it off before we go so that it will still be cooking when we go.

7:20 Monday –at Lynette’s Apartment

Dale: (Looks at Eden)

Eden: What?

Dale: Did you turn off the oven?

Eden: (Bursts into tears*)

*not really - I do not have feelings

The window not only took the bird's life, but its very essence.

This is a picture of an image on one of the larger windows of the house that Dale and I are sitting for a few weeks. The owners of the house told us before they left that one day they found the imprint on their window after some poor bird slammed into it. Although the picture doesn't show it, you can actually see its little talons, one of its beady eyes, and even individual feathers.

If you can't invent something nice, don't invent it at all

As I was gathering lesson ideas for next semester’s student teaching, I stumbled across a few designs that were unique and inventive, but maybe not as practical as they ought to be.

Invention 1: Cocoon

The Web Site’s Description:
“Cocoon is a place to find shelter in extreme conditions and environments. Hang it off a tree or a cliff face or anywhere you else you need to. Inside, the user is comforted by a warming colours and materials that will ensure they stay warm no matter what the conditions are like outside.”

If I was inside this object, I don’t know if I would feel more comforted or afraid that someone would think it would be funny to do something awful to me while I was in such a vulnerable position. It works for caterpillars, but caterpillars don't make enemies like we humans do.

Invention 2: Ladybuds Earplug Earrings

The Web Site’s Description:
"Designed by a woman who loves NASCAR and rock n’ roll, Ladybuds provide women the opportunity to combat noise and hearing loss in an entirely new way. Through their fun and fearless combination of high-fashion earrings and reusable noise-cancelling earplugs, Ladybuds do what conventional ear protection fails to do; they make it cool to take care of your ears!"

If cool means weird then yes, I would agree with that statement.



Invention 3: Emotive Clothing

The Web Site's Description:
"The inner layer of this outfit is equipped with sensors that respond to the changes in the wearer's emotions and project them onto the textile on the outer layer."

There is a place for avant-gardism but sometimes, the world just isn't ready for it.

Humourous Mexican Quotes

I recently found the journal Dale and I wrote during our 2 months at a Mexican Orphanage and we were able to laugh afresh at the crazy things that happened and crazy things that were said such as the quotes listed below:

Aleshia in an excited voice: Can I drive?!
Mexican in an excited voice: Do you want to die?!

Us: I understand.
Mexican: No, all of you just nod and say "I understand, I understand" and then turn to your friends and whisper, "what did he just say?"
(The Mexican was right, we did this A LOT).

Eden: Mexico - where they have fences to protect dogs from people.

Us (to someone who we just met): We are learning a lot of Spanish.
Eddie (to same person): Yes, it is true they are learning how to speak Spanish. And very soon, they will be better than I.

Eddie: “When I grow up, I will become a vampire. I will be called Eddie the Vampire and go all over the world, searching for the best blood. You don't have to worry though, I don't drink the blood of Americans.” (Eddie never was one to hide his prejudice against anything from the USA nor was he one to hide his weirdness).

DARN! Now I want to go back again. Maybe I will...

Cats Cats Cats

My family's outdoor cat, christened "The Colonel" because of his slight resemblance to KFC's Colonel Sanders, is occasionally allowed indoors. I don't know why we do let him indoors as he uses the opportunity to drink toilet water, do other unmentionable things, and sit in my mom's chair. However both my mom and the cat can be stubborn as the picture below shows.

(Oh dear, I just created a post about a cat! Next thing you know I will only be posting stories about when I took my cat to get his regular checkup and will change my email address to catluver394837@gmail.com!)

Oh Eden you shouldn't have! Your one beauty!

Since most my family and friends are on break, I have been to a New Year’s Eve Party, Christmas Party, volleyball party, Friend-Going-To-Africa party, Birthday Party, and Hair-Dying Party.

All these parties have been relaxing after a difficult semester of college, but I am surprised to find that I am beginning to want a few days just to be productive and work again.

When we were playing kick the bucket at my Aunt Anne’s Birthday party yesterday, the two youngest cousins were given the task of tagging people by yelling out their names. I was so insulted to find that neither cousin knew my name. We had the conversation below as both of them were chasing me through the hallway:

Henry: Hey, what’s your name again?

Me: YOU’VE FORGOTTEN MY NAME HENRY?

Henry: Anthony, what’s her name?

Anthony: I don’t know.

Me: Hey! I just told you my name Anthony!

Henry smiles: Wait… I know your name…

Me: Oh good what is it

Henry: Aunt Alice!

The results of our hair dying party.

Wichita Eagles Headline Tomorrow: PAGE CHRISTMAS TURNS SOUR – GUN CRIME FIGURES INCREASE BY 75%

Yes, my mom gave my dad a gun for Christmas. Both my parents decided that it was time to rid our country home of bothersome pests (pests of the animal kind of course). As can be seen below, we all had to try it out (if only to get pictures of ourselves looking stealthy and dangerous).

Dale says these pictures make it appear as though the country is finally turning us into hicks but I don’t think so.

Well, I don’t have no more time to waste on this newfangled typin’ machinery. Gotta go watch me some Nascar and cry to the song “Christmas Shoes.”

Daleangelo

School is about over and I finally have enough time to get all my projects done! My first project is to finish getting all my family’s artwork online. (If you are one of those people wondering why anyone would actually want to do this, the answer is that you just wouldn't understand). A lot of the artwork I discovered while documenting made me laugh, but Dale's drawings definitely made me laugh the hardest. See below for examples.

My sister Grace was pretty offended when she saw the image above since she has been scribbled out of the drawing.




And finally, my personal favorite:
But I always thought Dale could have gone far with her artistic abilities if she had decided to continue to take it in High School. Below is one of the last works of art she made (probably at age 14).

How to Have Christmas Fun

1.) Visit the Khols' home late at night.

2.) Ask Jeremy if he would like to go on a walk. Benji will sense you are leaving and trail along.

3. Walk up to the neighborhood's giant light up Christmas Tree. Enter.



4. Look up. You will see something like the image on the right.




5. Spin around 10 times fast.









6.) Run as fast as you can away from the Christmas tree. Brace yourself - you will eventually fall over.

















Helpful Hints:
If, in your excitement, you forget to put on shoes, simply follow Jeremy and Benji's example and remove your jacket to wear as a pair of socks, temporarily of course.