If you can't invent something nice, don't invent it at all

As I was gathering lesson ideas for next semester’s student teaching, I stumbled across a few designs that were unique and inventive, but maybe not as practical as they ought to be.

Invention 1: Cocoon

The Web Site’s Description:
“Cocoon is a place to find shelter in extreme conditions and environments. Hang it off a tree or a cliff face or anywhere you else you need to. Inside, the user is comforted by a warming colours and materials that will ensure they stay warm no matter what the conditions are like outside.”

If I was inside this object, I don’t know if I would feel more comforted or afraid that someone would think it would be funny to do something awful to me while I was in such a vulnerable position. It works for caterpillars, but caterpillars don't make enemies like we humans do.

Invention 2: Ladybuds Earplug Earrings

The Web Site’s Description:
"Designed by a woman who loves NASCAR and rock n’ roll, Ladybuds provide women the opportunity to combat noise and hearing loss in an entirely new way. Through their fun and fearless combination of high-fashion earrings and reusable noise-cancelling earplugs, Ladybuds do what conventional ear protection fails to do; they make it cool to take care of your ears!"

If cool means weird then yes, I would agree with that statement.



Invention 3: Emotive Clothing

The Web Site's Description:
"The inner layer of this outfit is equipped with sensors that respond to the changes in the wearer's emotions and project them onto the textile on the outer layer."

There is a place for avant-gardism but sometimes, the world just isn't ready for it.

Humourous Mexican Quotes

I recently found the journal Dale and I wrote during our 2 months at a Mexican Orphanage and we were able to laugh afresh at the crazy things that happened and crazy things that were said such as the quotes listed below:

Aleshia in an excited voice: Can I drive?!
Mexican in an excited voice: Do you want to die?!

Us: I understand.
Mexican: No, all of you just nod and say "I understand, I understand" and then turn to your friends and whisper, "what did he just say?"
(The Mexican was right, we did this A LOT).

Eden: Mexico - where they have fences to protect dogs from people.

Us (to someone who we just met): We are learning a lot of Spanish.
Eddie (to same person): Yes, it is true they are learning how to speak Spanish. And very soon, they will be better than I.

Eddie: “When I grow up, I will become a vampire. I will be called Eddie the Vampire and go all over the world, searching for the best blood. You don't have to worry though, I don't drink the blood of Americans.” (Eddie never was one to hide his prejudice against anything from the USA nor was he one to hide his weirdness).

DARN! Now I want to go back again. Maybe I will...

Cats Cats Cats

My family's outdoor cat, christened "The Colonel" because of his slight resemblance to KFC's Colonel Sanders, is occasionally allowed indoors. I don't know why we do let him indoors as he uses the opportunity to drink toilet water, do other unmentionable things, and sit in my mom's chair. However both my mom and the cat can be stubborn as the picture below shows.

(Oh dear, I just created a post about a cat! Next thing you know I will only be posting stories about when I took my cat to get his regular checkup and will change my email address to catluver394837@gmail.com!)

Oh Eden you shouldn't have! Your one beauty!

Since most my family and friends are on break, I have been to a New Year’s Eve Party, Christmas Party, volleyball party, Friend-Going-To-Africa party, Birthday Party, and Hair-Dying Party.

All these parties have been relaxing after a difficult semester of college, but I am surprised to find that I am beginning to want a few days just to be productive and work again.

When we were playing kick the bucket at my Aunt Anne’s Birthday party yesterday, the two youngest cousins were given the task of tagging people by yelling out their names. I was so insulted to find that neither cousin knew my name. We had the conversation below as both of them were chasing me through the hallway:

Henry: Hey, what’s your name again?

Me: YOU’VE FORGOTTEN MY NAME HENRY?

Henry: Anthony, what’s her name?

Anthony: I don’t know.

Me: Hey! I just told you my name Anthony!

Henry smiles: Wait… I know your name…

Me: Oh good what is it

Henry: Aunt Alice!

The results of our hair dying party.

Wichita Eagles Headline Tomorrow: PAGE CHRISTMAS TURNS SOUR – GUN CRIME FIGURES INCREASE BY 75%

Yes, my mom gave my dad a gun for Christmas. Both my parents decided that it was time to rid our country home of bothersome pests (pests of the animal kind of course). As can be seen below, we all had to try it out (if only to get pictures of ourselves looking stealthy and dangerous).

Dale says these pictures make it appear as though the country is finally turning us into hicks but I don’t think so.

Well, I don’t have no more time to waste on this newfangled typin’ machinery. Gotta go watch me some Nascar and cry to the song “Christmas Shoes.”

Daleangelo

School is about over and I finally have enough time to get all my projects done! My first project is to finish getting all my family’s artwork online. (If you are one of those people wondering why anyone would actually want to do this, the answer is that you just wouldn't understand). A lot of the artwork I discovered while documenting made me laugh, but Dale's drawings definitely made me laugh the hardest. See below for examples.

My sister Grace was pretty offended when she saw the image above since she has been scribbled out of the drawing.




And finally, my personal favorite:
But I always thought Dale could have gone far with her artistic abilities if she had decided to continue to take it in High School. Below is one of the last works of art she made (probably at age 14).

How to Have Christmas Fun

1.) Visit the Khols' home late at night.

2.) Ask Jeremy if he would like to go on a walk. Benji will sense you are leaving and trail along.

3. Walk up to the neighborhood's giant light up Christmas Tree. Enter.



4. Look up. You will see something like the image on the right.




5. Spin around 10 times fast.









6.) Run as fast as you can away from the Christmas tree. Brace yourself - you will eventually fall over.

















Helpful Hints:
If, in your excitement, you forget to put on shoes, simply follow Jeremy and Benji's example and remove your jacket to wear as a pair of socks, temporarily of course.

Las garras del halcón penetraron en la piel*

It's been a long while since I have had time to comment so... here are the highlights of my semester!

1.) Spanish reading class - Each morning the professor has us converse in Spanish and some of my classmates have the most interesting stories. One guy works at a Wichita nature center and has told multiple stories about how birds and turtles attack him. I now know how to say "*The falcon's talons dug into my skin" in Spanish.

2.) pre student teaching - My practice-student-teaching work sample for my practice-student-teaching experience was 38 pages long. I wanted to practice-student-teaching throw up when I was done.
I liked the junior-high students I was working with. They liked me too, then they hated me, then they liked me... thats just junior high, but I am just grateful that the two students with criminal records I taught liked me the whole time!

3.) chandelier making - for my independent study class. It just brightens my day! See some completed projects below.













Las garras del chandelier penetraron en la piel de Joel.

A Homecoming Experience

Who would have thought that someone related to me would be chosen as a homecoming candidate! I won't tell you how she did so that you can watch this video with the same suspense those watching it in real life had. She can get 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. So prepare yourself to be surprised... or mildly satisfied... or disappointed!

(Keep in mind: the girl who gets the flowers first is the winner)
(Grace is the girl in the black dress)

Why I don't like Christian Bookstores

Find more sports Jesus' here.

All About My Brother

Last week, after a long day of school and work I asked Joel how his first speech in speech class went (on that morning he had said that for speech he was going to do one of those get to know you activities where you bring and describe three items that represent you).

Here are the three items he brought and his explanations at why they represent him:

1. “A Dirty sock because I am lazy and put things off like changing socks”
2. “A drawer because I’m aDRAWERable!” (my favorite)
   
3. “Computer games burnt on a disk because I like making computer games.”

He is a mix of

1. Napoleon Dynamite because he is weird, not caring (or seeing) that others notice
2. Barney because he is warm and friendly and goofy
3. Sam from Freaks and Geeks (the best TV show ever) because he looks just like him and understands technology

(Yeah it’s a weird mix but it oddly makes sense if you know Joel).

Should I Title this "Goin' Courtin'?" or "Them Women was Sabean?"

I found this article in Christians Today Magazine*:



Joshua Harris, author of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," has suddenly surprised many conservative Christian families with his new, racier book, "I French Kissed Courtship Goodbye." "Ever since my first book published, the term 'courtship' has been thrown around," Harris says, "Everyone is courting everyone and courtship has become too casual. With my new book, I hope to turn things around by suggesting a newer, even more biblically based solution for Christian parents to worship: kidnapping."

Harris bases this new stance on pre-marital relationships on the twenty-first chapter of Judges when the Bengamite men, left without females in their own tribe, are instructed to "Go and hide in the vineyards" and "seize wives from among the young women of Shiloh."

"This passage has strong implications for today's singles," states Harris, "I will be the first to admit that through both dating and courtship I became too intimate too early. However, with my new method, kidnapping, none can deny that the possibility of pre-marital sin will be eliminated."


*not really

Eden's Views on the News

Many with blogs spend much of their time commenting on the latest topic mass media is obsessed with, but as I usually get my news through word of mouth, it takes me a while to develop firm stances on these topics.
Two years ago, Pope Benedict XVI's election to the papacy resulted in feelings of relief, worry, happiness, and outrage. Today, I finally found my view of the new pope. To put it bluntly, I am afraid of him. I have 4 reasons why this is the case:

Reason # 1: He looks oddly like the most recent Hollywood villains.

Golum

Saruman


The Emperor from Star Wars


Hannibal from Silence of the Lambs

Reason #2: This picture:

Reason #3: He looks like a lizard.

Reason #4: He is such a change from the old, more...light-hearted?...pope, shown in the following pictures:

YAY!

Last night was my last final. This semester was the most difficult for me so far which is why I haven’t posted in months.

Here are some things that made me laugh which I would have posted if I had time this semester:

1.) I went to prom with (cousin) Bengi! People made comments to him like, “What is your prom date’s name?” or “Wow, you brought your girlfriend!” which made us both wince. Despite the scary comments though, it turned out to be a lot more fun than my High School prom since the kids at Chisolm Lifeskills Center had absolutely no inhibitions. When we first got there, one of the students walked up to me and mumbled something about wanting to dance with me. I said I would, but as soon as we started dancing one of the teachers came up to us and said “James! You’re dancing!” When he heard her, my dance partner’s eyes got all big and he actually ran away. Poor kid

2.) In Spanish class we were practicing how to say, “If I were… I would…” phrases. The professor was calling on us to tell her in Spanish what we would do if we were the president. Most students said typical liberal-college-student statements such as “I would stop the war” or “I would incarcerate Cheney” so I started to tune out. However, I started listening up again when one student said boldly, “If were president I would make sure to feed the poor to everyone.” He meant, of course, that he would make sure the all the poor had food but it still made me laugh for a while afterward.

Fantasy Games in the Real World

I think Joel's adventure game obsession has possibly gone too far. He sent me the following humorous email which shows where his mind is most of the time:

"The other day I was playing Simon the sorcerer when I realized I needed to go feed our chickens. So I went out there and after finishing the job I realized the pole which I use to hold the door shut after I left had fallen over onto the door and I couldn't get out. I yelled for help and tried breaking down the door but this didn't work. So I did what any adventure gamer would do and used my brain. Finding a hook attached to the wall, I used pushed it through the crack in the door and knocked the pole out of the way. I thought this was very amusing because I never thought that could help me in real life."

I can just picture Joel picking up the hook and making a "BRINGGG" sound as he pulled it off the wall. He probably even narrated his movements saying, "Joel lifts the long pole off the wall and places it in his knapsack."

the Fine Art of Manipulation

Today I found out more of how to get kids to do what you want them to. At the end of the day a teacher had me sit at the table of a kindergartener who always works hard not to do what he is supposed to do. Instead of copying the phrase the teacher wrote on the board, he just sat there as I said all sorts of things that didn't get him writing.
So then I thought I would try something different, "Just write the first letter" I said.
He wrote the first letter.
I tried to look as shocked as I could, "Jalen!" I said, "You have beautiful handwriting! Let me see you write another letter!"
He did and I tried to look ecstatic, "Wow! I really must say that you do have very nice writing."
That sentence was on his paper in less than 30 seconds and he was grinning sheepishly for minutes afterward.
Most of the time, kids just want attention. Today I found out the best time to give it to them is when they are doing something good.