Nobody likes me everybody hates me

My dad has been posting our journal entries about our January jungle trip on his blog. Here is an excerpt I wrote about the strange food of the amazon:

One day, the director of the base which we were working on came back from the city bearing gifts. As our gifts rippled across the table surface he said, “How do you say ‘dessert’ in English?” He had brought us raw coconut palm grubs (called suri just like someone else). Indigenous children in Peru think of suri as a candy. We played with them for a bit.



Then Director Juan Carlos began encouraging me to try them. I wouldn’t, so he said he would show me how first. He first snaped off the head with his teeth– though you have to watch out for the pincers because they will snap back. Then you suck out the inside. After some persuasion from Juan Carlos and my dad's promise that he would get it on video, I agreed:



Later that night I fried up the rest of the grubs. They really steamed right up in the frying pan and popped up nice and huge. One even got so big that when it was punctured, squirted out a long thin stream of juices. They were easier to swallow down fried and reminded me a lot of shrimp. Now I can eat just about anything. Watch the exciting frying below.



And now for a song about what to do with low self esteem. My mom, never one to let us "believe in ourselves," forced me to listen to it as a child and I can only assume that it has had some influence on my poor grub-eating decisions today:

Nobody likes me everybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm!
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms

I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice,
And throw the skins away!
Nobody knows how fat I grow,
On worms three times a day!

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
Itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms!

Beauty Queens and Balloon Scenes

So I was walking down the streets of Gamarra, an extremely crowded district of Lima known for its thousands of small clothing stores.



There, I learned two things about Peruvian fashion:

1. Its made up of bright bold colors on skin tight clothing that I could never decently fit into.


2. I don’t like Peruvian fashion.

We walked into one store and saw Maju Mantilla. At first I thought she was an unusually pretty American. She had light blond hair and was wearing a ton of makeup.


In 2004, Maju became the only Peruvian to ever win the Miss World competition. We walked by her two more times, trying to appear as though we were casually shopping as we cast subtle glances her way. We were disappointed to find that she was not wearing her sash nor her crown.



Upon leaving Gamarra, we went down a street. The street was quiet. Too quiet.

And suddenly, sure enough, a giant water balloon burst on the pavement just in front of our feet.

“EEEEDEN! It’s carnival! RUN!” yelled Cynthia. We ran and more balloons came from all directions from the apartments above. We tried taking cover in a nearby store.

The people in the store were laughing at us.

A woman worker spoke to us, “You must be careful, this entire street is covered in people wanting to celebrate February’s carnival.”

“Is there a secret door in the back of this shopping center that will get us to a safer street?” I asked hopefully.

Everyone in the store laughed and shook their heads no. The woman worker then looked at one of the male workers and said with a smile, “Jorge, why not escort them through.”

Jorge shrugged, “No way! It won’t make a difference if I am with them or not. I don’t want to get wet too!”

So we ran down the rest of the street, dodging balloons from all directions. We made it out finally, and escaped with nothing more than wet sandals. I was glad that the balloons were not filled with urine, wax, or paint, as they sometimes are in districts as poor as Gamarra.

Below is my favorite image of an entire group of people just before being carnivalled in Lima.

Cheesy Pick Up Line of the Week

So I was on my bike, riding through traffic as usual. A man standing on the side of the road stared at me and then threw out his arms passionately as he announced "Pasa la reina! La reina!" which means "The Queen! The Queen is passing!"

 

Mi Cuñado Creeposo: Chat 5

Gordito89@gmail.com:  Hello, Eden!

me: how is your life progressing?

Gordito89@gmail.com: It's progressed a lot since you signed on

Mi Cuñado Creeposo: Chat 4

Gordito89@gmail.com: Hola, mi dulce



me: vayate mi amargo

Gordito89@gmail.com: amargo?



me: bitter



Gordito89@gmail.com: Awww... I'm your bitter?

Together we are bitter sweet

me: stop twisting things

EWW I am telling Dale

right now



Gordito89@gmail.com: Tell her of our bitter sweetness MMmmmmmm

Maybe she could her saltyness to the equation ;)

could add*

Pardon my poor sentence structure, mi dulce

5 minutes later…

Gordito89@gmail.com: Goodnight, my sweet bright eyes. My affection for you will continue to grow and my heart can't wait for the day when my eyes can gaze upon your soft face

Mi Cuñado Creeposo: Chat 3

Gordito89@gmail.com: It's like I've waited my whole life for this one night...

me: what?

Gordito89@gmail.com:: I dunno...

It's a song

I just thought I'd try to flatter you

It's gonna be me and you on the dance floor



me: lets not quote songs shall we



Gordito89@gmail.com: Why not?

I need you to be here with me, not way over in a bucket seat

Mi Cuñado Creeposo: Chat 2

The creepiness continues:

Gordito89@gmail.com: Hello Eden

me: AH! Again I thought you were some weird Peruvian who got my email



Gordito89@gmail.com: Como estas

me: why that name... why

eww



Gordito89@gmail.com: Because it fits me so well

me: creeposo

Gordito89@gmail.com: gorgeouso

me: EWWW



Gordito89@gmail.com: I can act like a creepy peruvian if you'd like

me: I can kill you in my mind if you'd like

Mi Cuñado Creeposo: Chat 1

This is going to be the first of many posts written to prove to the world that I am going to be the proud owner of the creepiest brother-in-law ever.

It all began when Tim began chatting with me online and I mistook him for a creepy Peruvian.

Gordito89@gmail.com: What up yo



me: AHH! TIM!

You totally freaked me out - I thought you were one of my peruvian stalkers

I was like WHO IS GORDITO AND HOW DID HE GET MY EMAIL???



Gordito89@gmail.com: I am your peruvian stalker

In fact... I'm watching you as we speak



me: ewww SO MUCH WORSE

We have a made up spanish word for guys like you - Adj - Creeposo



Gordito89@gmail.com:: haha



me: actually, we use it as a noun too even though it is in Adj form. "He is a creeposo - watch out for him."

Edenpage.blogspot.com dies today, age 4

Edenpage.blogspot.com, the first blog in the history of Eden Page’s life, was found dead today in a hotel room in Oregon, officials say. He was 4.

No cause of death was immediately available, but a statement by the chief of blogging police believes it to be the doing of wordpress.com.

"We're all devastated to hear of edenpage.blogspot.com’s passing," Eden Page, head blog author, said, tears in her eyes. "He was a wonderful blog, a brilliant outlet of energy, and will dearly be missed, but really, I think it was time to let him go."

Eden Page has wasted little time to pick up a new blog, http://edenpage.wordpress.com/ located here.